Phoenix: The Beauty in Between (A Beautiful Series Companion Novel) by Lilliana Anderson Read Free Book Online Page A

much,” I whispered to him, overcome with
everything that had just happened.
    He shushed me
gently. “Don’t talk like that. You were perfect. Tomorrow, it will
be so much nicer for you. I promise you that. It’s only the first
time that it hurts.”
    I feel doubtful
that could ever feel nice. But so many people talk like sex is
amazing, so I’m willing to give it another shot. He tells me
there’s a lot more things we can do that will feel nice. I suppose
I just have to trust him. He knows a lot more about this stuff than
I do.
    After the bath,
he dried me off, and carried me back to the bedroom. Where he sat
me on a chair, while he changed the sheets on the bed, so we could
get some sleep.
    As I watched
him work, I felt a slight swell in my chest. No one in my life has
ever taken care of me like that before. It all seems a little too
good to be true, but I’m willing to give it a chance.
    After a full
night’s sleep, I now feel a little sore, but I’m okay. I actually
feel better than I have a long time after spending my second night
in a real bed. I’ve been sitting watching television while Jeff is
out running some errands. I don’t actually know what he does for a
job but judging by the quality of his furnishings and car, I’m
willing to bet that he is in a similar game to Tahlia’s
parents.
    I don’t think
he deals pot though, I’m pretty sure he deals in ecstasy and maybe
some other things. I don’t know. I haven’t seen anything, and he
hasn’t told me anything yet.
    As I sit, I
think about how he told me that I could stay while he teaches me
something different every night. I wonder how many different sex
acts there are and try to guess how many days he’s going to let me
stay. Maybe if I’m a really willing pupil, he’ll want me to stay
longer. Maybe I could be so good to him, that he’ll start to care
about me and won’t want to let me go. Maybe I can help him with his
work in some way…
    There are a lot
of maybes. The biggest ones being - maybe I should have stayed put.
Maybe I’m in over my head. I made the decision to come and stay
here while still feeling the effects of ecstasy tablets. Maybe if I
was sober, I would have chosen Tahlia’s couch.
    Sitting on my
own all I can do is question myself. I’m starting to worry that I’m
walking down a road I never imagined I’d travel, and that I might
never find my way back. No matter how hard I try.

Chapter
Twelve
    When Jeff gets
home, he’s smiling brightly. “Hey gorgeous, just wait there. I’ll
be back in a minute” he says, disappearing into his room briefly
before returning, holding a small package in his hand.
    “What’ve you
got there?” I ask, nodding at his hand.
    “A gift,” he
says, grinning with only half his mouth, his eyes darkening
slightly as he moves towards me.
    “What kind of
gift?” I sit up straighter and look at his hand intently, as if my
eyes have the power to open it.
    He sits next to
me. “It’s something that will make you feel amazing,” he tells me,
opening his hand to reveal a small bag of white powder.
    I suck my
breath back sharply. “Is that what I think it is?”
    “Uh huh.” He
opens the draw from the side table next to the couch, pulls out a
leather binder and places it on the coffee table in front of us. I
sit by quietly, curiosity getting the better of me as I chew my lip
and watch him prepare our lines.
    The old me, the
girl who used to try hard at school and did everything she could to
be accepted, would be horrified at what I’m becoming, at what I’m
sitting here ready to do.
    But the current
me wants this. I know it going to make me feel something more than
the desolation that’s constantly lurking beneath the surface of my
mind, constantly telling me that I’m not wanted, that no one
cares.
    The old me left
months ago, and I don’t even want to think about her anymore.
    Jeff leans
forward, and with his finger pressed against one side of his nose,
and a small glass tube held