Pin by Andrew Neiderman Read Free Book Online

you? It’s your body. If that’s what you wanted and he’s the one you wanted it with … besides, remember what the doctor said: ‘If you’re hungry, you eat.’”
    â€œDo you really think he meant this? I mean, do you actually think he meant for us to have intercourse now?”
    â€œWhy not?” I was surprised at the high pitch my voice took. I sounded like Pin.
    â€œShould I do it again?”
    â€œIt’s up to you.”
    â€œI was thinking about asking the doctor for birth control pills. I figure that would be a good way to see just how serious he was when he told us sex was just another Need, another physiological Need, as he called it.”
    â€œI don’t think I totally agree with that, but if the doctor said it… are you really going to ask for pills?”
    â€œI thought I’d go to the office one day and sort of ask him through Pin, know what I mean? It’ll be easier. He’ll answer through Pin. I’m sure of it. You told him about your intercourse with Beverly Steine through Pin, didn’t you?”
    â€œNo. I just told Pin,” I said. She didn’t say anything for a while. I felt her hand travel down until she found mine on the bed. We remained like that in the darkness until I got tired and went to sleep in my own bed. She was disappointed that I didn’t stay with her longer.
    Ursula never asked father for the birth-controlpills. She said she didn’t have the nerve.
    â€œI stood in front of Pin for a couple of minutes, but I couldn’t get myself to do it.”
    â€œWhy not?”
    â€œI felt… silly.”
    I didn’t laugh, but she knew what I thought of that. I was also well aware of how many times she went out with Elias after the first night they had intercourse. (I always wanted to say “screwed” or “fucked,” but father’s terminology was most influential. I knew the other guys laughed behind my back when I used the word “penis” for “prick,” or “vorgina” for “cunt.”) Ursula wanted to describe each date to me, but I started acting bored and disinterested. She was always eager to hear about my dates, though. One night I told her I was taking Miriam Cohen to the drive-in. We were doubling up with Tony Martin, who had a station wagon.
    â€œHow could she go out with you? Every time I look at her in school, I think of that day when you snuck in on us and played with her ass.”
    â€œShe’s forgotten, I guess. Or else the memory excites her.”
    â€œBut she’s so ugly and she has that bad acne all over her forehead and on her neck.”
    â€œI can handle it.” My revelation was having just the effect I thought it would have on Ursula.
    â€œYou must be getting desperate. What’s the matter with Cora?”
    â€œI’m tired of her.”
    â€œAre you really attracted to Miriam Cohen?”
    â€œEvery girl is a new adventure for me.”
    â€œBullshit,” Ursula said. “I don’t believe you.”
    â€œSuit yourself.”
    When I came home that night, she was waiting for me in my room. I know she heard me come in, but she pretended to be asleep in my bed. I went to the bathroom, got undressed, slipped on pajama bottoms and came out. She was still lying there with her eyes closed. So I sat on the bed and acted as though I didn’t even notice her. When I slipped under the covers, she opened her eyes and stretched.
    â€œWhat time is it?”
    â€œOne-fifteen.”
    â€œHow was your date with Miriam?” she asked, sitting up quickly. As usual, she had crawled under my covers naked.
    â€œVery bad. She was a virgin.”
    â€œDon’t tell me you didn’t expect that.”
    â€œLet’s just say I had my suspicions.”
    â€œSo?” She was waiting for me to go on, but I didn’t respond. “What didja do?”
    â€œI was going ahead with it anyway, but