Play With You (Loneliness) by Alison Cole Read Free Book Online Page B

from the backstage area. I see his backside vanish as he gives me a significant look. A few seconds later, I follow, with the excuse that I need to grab something I left onstage. Marcus is waiting for me. Grabbing my wrist, he pulls me to him and begins kissing me.
    "Hey, Johanna!"
    Hearing my name, I look up, only to get a camera flash full in my face. Squinting, I realize that a paparazzo caught me - with Marcus! I am livid, knowing that our secret is not far from coming out. And not just to the band...to everyone. I grab Marcus' wrist and run.
    Marcus arranges to meet me in my flat. I get a ride home with Linny. I'm quieter than normal and he looks at me.
    "Hey, you feeling okay?"
    "Yeah. I'm fine. Just tired." I give Linny a small grin, knowing that some tabloid - or several - are going to make my secret very public by tomorrow. In my flat, I pace back and forth, feeling awfully sick to my stomach. The feeling doesn't go away, so I make some hot tea, hoping it will settle my tummy. Just as I carry my hot cup to the coffee table, Marcus knocks quietly at my door. Hurrying, I let him in.
    "Luv, you know what this means more than I do. Although, I think I can guess," says Marcus.
    "That paparazzo will sell that pic he took to at least one tabloid. Our secret will be out in the newsstands by the time every bloke in England clocks in to work for the morning," I tell him glumly. Having been the target of paparazzo for the past two years, I know the drill all too well.
    "Fuck!"
    I'm shocked. It's rare for Marcus to swear. He's really upset!
    "I'm upset for you. I know what's going to happen. I'll get it too, but you're going to get it much worse," he predicts. Instead of staying at my flat that night, he leaves. Neither one of us is in the mood for lovemaking tonight and my stomach is still oddly upset even after we talk. Taking an anti-acid, I shower and go to bed, hoping that this is all just a nightmare.

    The next morning, I present myself as usual at the studio as we prepare our music for our U.S. tour. Walking in, I grin and wave at Tim and Linny, who are both holding...newspapers! Oh, my God, they know!
    My gaze moves from the papers to Tim and Linny's faces. As Laslow walks in, he's holding a copy of a paper as well. Oh, fuck! I echo Marcus' expletive of the night before in my head.
    "Johanna. Do you, perhaps, have something you want to tell us?" Tim asks me. His brown eyes are burning with anger.
    I hear the door open one more time. I know its Marcus. Two seconds later, he is standing at my side, ready to take the band's anger along with me.
    "What the fuck do you two think you were doing? We told you not to get involved with each other! There's a very good reason for that. This band is only as strong as our weakest member. Look at this!" Here, Tim brandishes a wrinkled copy of a well-known rag in England. I see a momentary glimpse of myself in Marcus' arms. Oy, this is bad!
    Marcus tries to put his hand around my shoulders.
    "OY! Get your hand off her!" shouts Linny. "What've you lot been doing? Shacking up? Snogging? What?"
    "I'm here to take my punishment alongside Johanna. I motioned her to the side of that stage. If I had known better, this would never have happened. Don't blame her completely. I'm just as enthusiastic a participant in this," says Marcus.
    Tim sighs deeply. "Johanna, we don't know if we're going to kick you out for lying to us or ban Marcus from joining us on tours and here in practices. There's the possibility that, if we ban Marcus, we'll kick Laslow out as well. Like what you've done now? Hmm? Johanna, you're our best group member. How could you do this? Do you realize that this endangers the band? What the bloody hell d'you think you two were doing?" Tim yells.
    I want Marcus to take my hand, but at the same time, I realize that'll make things even worse. I simply stand there, taking everything Tim says. I am grateful that Marcus is standing next to me.
    Laslow moves to stand with Linny and Tim.