Playschool by Colin Thompson Read Free Book Online Page A

is.’
    â€˜I don’t believe you,’ said Orkward.
    â€˜Fair enough,’ said The Mirror, staring out of the window at the Giant Green Patagonian Condors circling over the forest.

    â€˜You don’t really know, do you?’
    â€˜Oh yes, I, like, totally do,’ said The Mirror.
    â€˜Tell me … please.’
    â€˜Absolutely, no problem,’ said The Mirror. ‘Just pay my price and I’ll tell you straight away.’
    â€˜What’s your price?’ Orkward asked with a dreadful sense of foreboding.
    â€˜It’s no big deal. You just have to, like, get me something from Narled’s treasure trove.’
    â€˜But no one knows where it is,’ said Orkward.
    â€˜Someone does.’
    â€˜Who?’
    â€˜Narled.’
    â€˜Yes, but, I mean, oh God,’ said Orkward, slumping down in his chair and putting his head in his hands in total despair. He desperately wanted to know who his father was, but hundreds of people had tried to find Narled’s treasure trove, and no one had succeeded. There were rumours, of course, and two students had actually disappeared while searching for it. Another had tried to follow Narled into the dark forest and come back as a sad electronics salesman forever lost in a never-ending quest for a larger plasma television than anyone else had ever seen. Someone had even come back Belgian.
    â€˜But what do you want it for?’ he added. ‘You’re a mirror.’
    â€˜How many other talking mirrors have you, like, met?’ The Mirror asked.

    â€˜Well, erm, none actually.’
    â€˜Exactly. I might totally look like a mirror. I might even, like, totally be a mirror, but I used to be a man.’
    â€˜Really?’
    â€˜Yeah man, really,’ said The Mirror. ‘I used to be this really cool handsome rich dude.’
    â€˜So what happened?’ said Orkward.
    â€˜Oh, you know, the usual story. Some wizard dude fancied my girlfriend but she was, like, totally in love with me and wouldn’t have anything to do with him. So he turned me into a mirror. Actually he turned me into a lobster but agreed to change me into a mirror if my girlfriend said she would marry him.’
    â€˜Why a mirror?’
    â€˜Well, the wizard dude threatened to cook me in a rather nice parsley sauce and my girlfriend said she would be his if he would spare me, and the wizard dude said okay, he would change me into a mirror so he could admire his reflection in me every day.’
    â€˜So how did you end up here?’
    â€˜Long story, way too complicated,’ said TheMirror. ‘But there was a lot of blood and tons of celery involved. I don’t want to talk about it, man.’
    â€˜I still don’t see how Narled’s treasure will help you,’ said Orkward.
    â€˜The wizard dude thought my girlfriend would eventually fall in love with him, but when she didn’t he turned her into a china doll. One day he put her down on the grass for a moment and the next moment, Narled had picked her up and taken her away. And, like, the thing is, if we are put together again, we will totally change back into our real selves.’

    â€˜Oh, wonderful,’ sneered Orkward. ‘The love story of the century – a nasty mirror and a china dolly. Hooray.’
    â€˜Fair enough,’ said The Mirror.
    â€˜No, no, I’m sorry,’ Orkward lied. ‘I’ll try.’
    â€˜This is, like, such a totally pointless exercise,’ said The Mirror. ‘You couldn’t find your way out of a paper bag, never mind track down Narled’s legendary treasure trove.’
    â€˜Yes I can,’ said Orkward. ‘I’ll come up with a plan.’

The Toad lay face-down on a bed in sick bay while Matron rubbed her legendary linseed oil and beeswax into his burnt back. Although Matron looked remarkably like a small concrete shed, she had a heart of gold and the children at Quicklime’s adored her.