Playschool by Colin Thompson Read Free Book Online

Clarissa, before releasing the two of them on the edge of the dark forest. There, they evolved into the Giant Green Patagonian Condor that we all know and fear today. Because Winchflat had the only surviving creature in Genetic Engineering that week, he got ten out of ten and a gold star.

Back in his room, Orkward thought about He Who Must Not Be Talked About while he waited for The Toad to be treated in sick bay. Maybe his daydreams were true. Maybe He Who Must Not Be Talked About was the great wizard on the white dragon – his father.
    â€˜You are, like, so pathetic,’ said The Mirror, which could read Orkward’s mind.
    â€˜I’ll smash you into a million pieces, you recycled milk bottle,’ Orkward snarled between gritted teeth.
    â€˜No you won’t,’ said The Mirror.
    â€˜Give me one good reason why not,’ said Orkward.
    â€˜One? I can give you three.’
    â€˜What?’
    â€˜Three, you little loser,’ said The Mirror. ‘One: I am seriously powerful and magic and, like, totally unbreakable. Two: you are a pathetic coward and wouldn’t dare.’
    â€˜Why are you always so awful to me?’ asked Orkward.
    â€˜Well, there are three reasons. One: you totally deserve it. Two: it’s my job. And –’
    â€˜What’s the third reason?’
    â€˜If you hadn’t interrupted me, I was just about to say,’ said The Mirror. ‘Three: because I enjoy it.’
    â€˜No, no, no. What’s the third reason why I won’t smash you into a million pieces?’
    â€˜Ahh, that one. Well, the third reason is that I know who He Who Must Not Be Talked About is.’
    â€˜Who? Who? Tell me. Tell me!’ shouted Orkward.
    â€˜Maybe I will and maybe I, like, won’t,’ said The Mirror.
    â€˜Tell me NOW or I’ll smash you into a million pieces!’ screamed Orkward.
    â€˜Oh man, we have totally been through that already. You can’t smash me into pieces, remember?’
    â€˜Tell me,’ said Orkward and, gritting his teeth and crossing his fingers behind his back so it wouldn’t count, he added, ‘please.’

    â€˜Well, well,’ said The Mirror. ‘Nice. I didn’t know you could do nice, even if you have got your fingers crossed behind your back and don’t really mean it. Still, it’s a start.’
    â€˜Are you going to tell me?’
    â€˜Probably, but you have to do something for me.’
    â€˜Okay,’ said Orkward. ‘What?’
    â€˜Clean me and hang me back up on the wall so I can see out of the window again.’
    â€˜All right.’
    â€˜You have to do it before I tell you, because I think you’re going to be, like, totally disappointed,’ said The Mirror.
    Orkward dragged The Mirror out from under the bed, hung it back on the wall and began to dust it with a square of frayed black velvet – the security blanket he had wrapped round his thumb when he went to sleep for as long as he could remember.
    â€˜You’ve missed a bit,’ The Mirror said seventeen times before finally adding, ‘Cool, now I can see right over the rooftops and into the totally dark forest.’
    â€˜Okay, who is He Who Must Not Be Talked About?’
    â€˜The chairman of the school governors, Councillor P.J. Plausible,’ said The Mirror.
    â€˜What a ridiculously implausible name,’ said Orkward. ‘So why is he called He Who Must Not Be Talked About?’
    â€˜I don’t know. No one will talk about it. I do know he took the clouds away for an afternoon as a punishment because he said the school was going soft.’
    â€˜Now I’m really depressed,’ said Orkward. ‘I’ll have to go and hurt something.’
    â€˜I know something else,’ said The Mirror, ‘but it will cost you more than you can afford.’
    â€˜What?’
    â€˜He Who Must Not Be Talked About is not your father, but I know who