Prison Ramen: Recipes and Stories from Behind Bars by Clifton Collins Read Free Book Online Page A

prison, I was the most ignorant inmate. Then Colombiana asked, “Can you read and write?” Almost laughing, I said “Yes!” She gave me a piece of paper and told me to write out a recipe she’d dictate. When she saw my handwriting she smiled at me and said, “I think I just found you a job.” Colombiana was a fine artist and made greeting cards for anyone in need of a birthday or holiday card, but she had terrible handwriting. I became her apprentice and filled in the greetings on the cards. I would not have made it through my time in prison without her help. We developed a friendship that lasts to this day.
    Alma Blake worked as a correctional officer. She served time for an infraction committed while a CO. She now works in a civilian capacity in her hometown of El Paso, TX. She teaches her sons to respect and understand the reasons for the law, with the hope that they may pursue a career in it one day.

Ramen for a Newcomer
    Ingredients
    2 packs chicken picante flavor Ramen
    3 cups boiling water
    ½ teaspoon crushed red pepper
    ¼ teaspoon garlic powder
    ½ teaspoon soy sauce
    Tortilla chips
    1. Place the Ramen into a bowl without breaking it. Add the seasoning.
    2. Add the boiling water, crushed red pepper, garlic powder, and soy sauce.
    3. Mix well, and let it sit for 8 minutes.
    4. When ready, top it with a handful of tortilla chips.

Brother Against Brother

    T here was a time back in the day when convicts, all dressed in blue, wouldn’t fight one another. Instead we’d stand united, fighting against the cops who would be dressed in green. Those days are long gone. We don’t have the unity we once had.
    A riot can occur at the most unexpected times. It seems to me that racial fighting was the main motivation in most of the riots I saw . . . and participated in. Black against white, brown against black, or brown against white. Sometimes, there was even fighting within the races, but it was still about race. For example, you’d have Mexican immigrants fighting in big riots against the Mexican American homeboys. This discourages me because I feel as if the guys I’m fighting against could be my uncles or my brothers.
    These stupid riots between us always stem from some type of drug debt or power trip. I’ve been in many riots, but riots against my own race have been the most tragic. Lots of stabbing and fighting to the death. Vicious soldiers out to destroy one another, fighting the wrong enemy.

Ramen Beef Bowl
    Ingredients
    1 pack picante beef flavor Ramen
    1 cup boiling water
    1 summer sausage (about 9 ounces), chopped, or 1 can (9 ounces) Vienna sausage, drained and chopped
    1 can (about 12 ounces) ready-to-eat roast beef
    1 bag (about 4 ounces) pork skins or rinds
    ½ onion, chopped
    3 jalapeño chiles, chopped
    ¾ cup soy sauce
    ¾ cup grape jelly
    Note: This was often sold in the commissary as “roast beef dinner with gravy.” If that’s what you find, drain off the gravy.
    1. Crush the Ramen in the wrapper and empty into a bowl. Set aside the seasoning packet.
    2. Add the water, cover, and let sit for 8 minutes.
    3. Drain off excess water.
    4. Meanwhile, combine the sausage, roast beef, pork skins, onion, jalapeños, seasoning, soy sauce, and jelly in a microwavable bowl. Mix well.
    5. Cover and microwave for about 10 minutes, until hot.
    6. Add the Ramen. Mix well.

Pranking to Pass the Time
    by Rusty Coones

    I n 1999 I was rounded up in a federal conspiracy case. An attorney was once quoted as saying, “A grand jury could indict a ham sandwich under federal conspiracy laws.” I saw the evidence of that. Eventually, I was sentenced to eight years.
    We had our own table where only “our guys” sat. On Sundays they brought out the toasters, but there was always a line waiting to toast bread. So we had a guy who would wait in line for us and toast the bread. We named him the Toastmaster General.
    We were always looking for something to break the monotony of doing time. I liked pranking people. I