Random Acts of Unkindness by Jacqueline Ward Read Free Book Online

caring for my child.
    My child. Although he was a man, he was still my child. It struck me then that this must be what people mean by flying the nest. I’d heard some mothers go mad with it. I’d never really imagined that Thomas would leave home. He wasn’t courting and he was happy here.
    We’d had our differences, mainly about the late-night bike riding and drinking, but we all mostly got on. Had I upset him yesterday morning? Had I done something to annoy him? Had Colin said something I didn’t know about?
    I examined every detail of yesterday and soon found myself sitting in another ashen circle. The smoke hung in the air and I blinked into it. Where was he?
    Colin came back at lunchtime with Sam Mackie. By then, I was expecting it and was a little calmer. I lit yet another cigarette and smiled.
    ‘He’ll be with some lass. He’s at that age. He’ll be ’fraid to come back because he’s in trouble.’
    Colin and Sam looked at each other. Sam sat down opposite me.
    ‘That’s as maybe, Bessy, but we’re going to do a search. We’re going to do the route from here to Stoke’s, see if we can turn up anything. If that doesn’t, we’ll go further afield.’
    I nodded and sucked on a Park Drive.
    ‘I’ll come with you. I might be able to give you some tips.’
    Colin and Sam looked at each other.
    ‘Might be better if you stay here, love, in case he comes back.’
    I stood up and tied on my headscarf.
    ‘I’ll leave the door on the snick. I’ll come with you.’
    Colin sat down and took my hands in his. His legs were spread out and he pulled his chair closer.
    ‘Look, Bess, there somat you need to know, take into account, like. There been some troubles with folk. Children. Goin’ missing. Round here over the past year. You know what I’m sayin’, love?’
    I stared him out.
    ‘You’re sayin’ someone might have taken our Thomas? Don’t be stupid. He’s a man. No one could take him; he’d fight. You’ve seen the size of him. He’s a fully grown man. Children are taken, not seventeen-year-olds.’
    Again, they looked at each other. Colin looked completely grey now, like someone had tried to rub out his features with an India rubber. Sam stepped forward.
    ‘The thing is, Mrs Swain, a fifteen-year-old was taken and . . .’
    Colin grabbed his arm.
    ‘Let them do their job, love. Let them go and find him. Chances are he’ll be back before we know it. They’ll have a talk to Phillip as well, to see if he knows anything.’ Sam nodded. ‘I’ll go with ’em up to the joinery then I’ll come back. It’ll take most of the day. Will you be all right here?’

The Search
    I remember this part better than any. It’s like it was yesterday. I’ve written exactly what happened to me, nothing more and nothing less. I can only tell you what I know, you’d have to ask the police the rest. I don’t mind. Some of it’s a bit personal like, but I’ve just jotted it down how it was.
    So. I’d been sitting in the kitchen for four hours, well into teatime, and I’d not put anything on for Colin and Thomas’s tea. I just sat there. Smoking and drinking tea until the brown teapot was drained.
    The moment the door shut behind Sam and Colin I felt a strange pulling in my insides. It was like all my vital organs were shrinking, and my belly was pulled in. My head went very sharp, like, and all the colours in the room felt brighter.
    I thought about sending out my thoughts to wherever Thomas was and asking him to please come home, to not do this to me. And his dad. My self, folding in on me, building a thick, invisible skin over my body, a case that I could stare out of later, one that kept me swimming in my own tears inside it.
    By the time the four hours was up, I had realised Thomas wasn’t coming back today. One way or another, he was missing. I tried to think about him being kidnapped, or worse, but the thoughts couldn’t crack that shell around me, holding me together.
    A panda car arrived at six