Reinventing Rachel by Alison Strobel Read Free Book Online Page B

sighed as the energy of her anger drained away and left her exhausted. “I don’t know, Cora. I don’t know what I think. Maybe my anger is clouding my thinking and once I get over it everything will make sense. Or maybe it’s making everything clearer and I’ve struck upon an epiphany. Who knows.”
    Cora grew silent, and they finished their inventory job without any more peripheral discussion, though Rachel’s mind continued to dwell on the things she’d said to Cora. She kept coming back to Cora’s question— You’re done with God? —and running from it, afraid to consider the possibility. Because part of her felt like the answer was yes, and it scared her.
    But not as much as she might have thought it would.
    o
     
    Rachel didn’t want to spend any more time in her apartment than necessary, so after work she retreated to another coffee shop where she claimed an armchair by the window and sipped her long-awaited mocha. A movie she’d seen during college came to mind as she licked whipped cream from her lips— The Truman Show . Jim Carrey’s character discovers his entire life is the ultimate reality show—a scripted sham lived out on television for the whole world to see. His hometown is a soundstage, the horizon a backdrop. Nothing he thought to be real actually was.
    Rachel could suddenly identify. Nothing was secure. There was nowhere stable to plant her feet. Things she never would have doubted had turned out to be questionable at best, and she was afraid of what would turn on her next.
    And what about God? He had promised to be unchanging, but now she couldn’t believe it. How could she? All she had was his word, and the last few days had been proof enough that words meant much less than she originally thought. After all, doesn’t Scripture say that God is like a father, who provides what his children need? That if they ask for bread, he won’t give them a stone? Hard to believe that promise now when all Rachel had done was asked for bread, worked hard for it, and received not just one stone but a whole avalanche of them.
    But if she couldn’t trust or even believe in God, she stood to lose more than just her faith. Her whole worldview was wrapped up in the doctrines she’d learned in those sixty-six ancient books. She didn’t know how to live without that theology as her foundation. She’d always pitied people who did.
    The thought of stepping off that platform of faith into the … what? Nothingness? It was beyond unimaginable. Yet there was no point to sticking with something that wasn’t real or trustworthy.
    Completely unsettled, she left the café to distract her mind with driving and checked her e-mail when she got home, hoping to keep the distractions coming. There in the inbox sat her e-ticket for Las Vegas. She was more convinced than ever that this trip could be exactly what she needed to get out of her emotional rut.
    The Internet provided Rachel with a couple hours of entertainment until her eyes grew heavy. She tumbled into bed and let the cool sheets soothe her. Her thoughts drifted to Daphne, to their childhood, their unlikely friendship. Funny how Rachel had always thought she held the key to Daphne’s happiness. Wouldn’t it be just the thing if it were the other way around?

Chapter 6
     
    “This is the captain speaking. We’re about ten minutes outside of Las Vegas, and we’ll be landing at gate three at McCarran Airport. We hope your flight has been enjoyable. ”
    Rachel drained the rest of her soda before she handed the cup to a passing attendant. She stifled a yawn and leaned her head against the window, training her eyes on the ground as it crept closer. A twinge of excitement at the sight of the enormous marquees and casinos in the distance made her smile, something she hadn’t done with sincerity in almost a week.
    The night before, she and Daphne had made their final arrangements on the phone. “You set the agenda, mon amie ,” Daphne had said. “You’re the