Relentless Hope (Resilient Hearts) by Ashley Cassidy Read Free Book Online Page A

And at this point in my life, I don’t even expect much. I just want to be able to feel safe and have my basic necessities met. Yet I can’t seem to get a break. Life just seems so unfair.
    I wonder what would happen if I were to knock on one of these people’s doors and ask for a job. What would they do? Laugh in my face? Call the police? Have their security guards escort me out? Of course, I am not actually going to knock on a stranger’s door. I have too much pride and dignity to ever do that, but that doesn’t keep me from wondering whether or not I would find any compassion in these people.
    I make my way back to the park and continue walking, mentally going over my options if I don’t find David, and the reality that I have none starts to set in. I could technically call my mom or Mia and ask them for a ride or some money to hold me over for a couple of more days. But from the limited conversations I have had with both of them, I know my brothers are still watching their every move. I also know they are monitoring my phone records since my account is still under the family plan I had with my parents and they have access to all of my account activity online. So a phone call to either one of them would most probably lead my brothers to me, not to mention putting my mom or Mia at risk. There is no way in the world I would want to do that.
    The only place with a roof I could potentially sleep at tonight is a homeless shelter, but the mere thought of that makes my stomach roil in fear. I did some internet searching about homeless shelters the other day and what I read about them was terrifying. From being infested with bed bugs and lice, to the amount of drugs and the number of drugs lords lurking around, to incidents of rape and sexual assault, the stories are more horrific than I care to recount. I can’t bring myself to go to a homeless shelter, and I have no other options. Finding David was my last hope. My last option.
    As I continue looking around for David for about two more hours, all traces of hope gradually leave, and in their place, emptiness slowly takes hold. The recognition that I am now homeless makes me feel numb. It’s as if my mind cannot bear to face the reality, and my body refuses to accept it. The only thought playing in my mind over and over again is that I WILL NOT…CANNOT let myself sleep on the streets tonight. With this mantra taking hold in my mind, I notice my legs pointing me in a certain direction and carrying me there, while my mind is blank.
    Before I know what I am doing, I find myself in front of the bench I was sitting at last week and my legs are carrying me over the railing towards the edge of the cliff. I stand there at the precipice looking out towards the ocean and imagine myself flying away, away from all the pain, the despair, the disappointments and the hopelessness.
    Getting away from it all has never appealed so much. At a certain level deep in my consciousness, I realize that this is wrong, but I am too exhausted, and my mind is too convoluted to care. I close my eyes and envision jumping, falling down, and then hitting the rocky cliffs at the bottom. This time, instead of feeling terrified, the visualization makes me feel relieved. It feels like an end to all my misery, a final stop to all the uncertainty, anxiety and despair consuming my life.
    As I feel myself getting more and more pulled towards the direction of the ocean, I hear the sound of screeching tires and a sudden braking of a car in the distant, but I pay very little attention to it. I am in a zone. One in which reality is quickly giving way to delusion. I hear heavy footsteps followed by someone yelling about something, but I am still too much in my own head to care. Finally, when I feel someone coming up behind me and grabbing my hand, I jerk around.
    “Miss, what are doing? Why are you on the other side of the fence?” the guy asks in between shallow breaths. Why does he look like he has been