Remembering Us by Stacey Lynn Read Free Book Online Page B

stopped outside my bedroom. My heart rate picked up and started beating wildly against my chest when I heard a low thump hit my door and saw his shadow from the crack underneath it.
    I froze and watched the shadow stay still. Minutes passed and there was no movement from outside, no sound at all. I almost thought he passed out in the hallway, but as I got out of bed to check on him, a louder thumping sound hit the wall and I scurried back into bed like a frightened kitten. He let out a string of curse words before he slammed the door to his room and the apartment went silent.
    When I woke up, there was a chunk of drywall missing from the wall and half a dozen dark red dots on the carpet.
    It only confirms the suspicion I’ve had in my head all week long, ever since that dream. We were always a disaster waiting to happen. Everything I’ve seen in the dreams, everything I’ve felt always leads back to that conclusion. The fear, the uncertainty, the jealousy – never once have I seen, or felt, any redeeming quality from either of us as I remember how we began. We bring out the worst in each other.

 
     
    “What do you think?” I spin around in the three-way mirror. Kelsey watches me with a funny expression. “That bad?”
    She wrinkles her nose. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you in a dress.” I frown in the mirror, watching her regard me like I’ve grown two heads instead of put on a navy and white maxi dress. “It looks strange.”
    “I like it,” I say, hands on my hips, convincing myself this should be a part of my new wardrobe. Kelsey looks doubtful. “What’s wrong with a dress?”
    “Nothing. It’s just …” she starts, and then sighs, running her hand through her long dark hair. “You just swore you’d never wear a dress again.”
    I press my teeth together until my jaw hurts. She’s had this same attitude for the last three hours. She took me to the hospital for my doctor’s appointment, and as soon as my casts were removed, I asked her to bring me shopping. She looks like she’s regretted the choice to come with me ever since I tried on my first dress.
    Hell, I’m regretting having her with me.
    “Yeah, well, I don’t remember that,” I snap at her, and fling back the curtain in the dressing room.
    A minute later, clad only in my bra and underwear, Kelsey walks in with a silent apology written all over her face. I ignore her while I pull on my jeans.
    “You can’t keep throwing fits and being pissy with me for crap like this.”
    “I know,” she mumbles. “Do you remember when you were fourteen and stopped doing ballet in order to play lacrosse?”
    “Yes.”
    Lacrosse looked fun and gave me an excuse to get off the ballet stage where I was forced to spend hours practicing even though I never liked dance. My mom refused to speak to me for a month, and when she did, the first words out of her mouth were, “You look like a boy with all that muscle.”
    “Well, the dresses thing was something similar. You ditched them over the winter when you and Adam got serious.”
    I frown. “I changed who I am for him?” I hate that idea. Did I become that girl that is so insecure that she changes everything about herself to become what a guy wants her to be? I can’t see me doing that. But what the hell do I know?
    “No,” she says, smiling sadly. I look at her through the mirror, adjusting my shirt. “It’s more like you became who you always wanted to be, and Adam helped you get there. This is like stepping backward in time.”
    “So why did I change? And how did I become the girl who only dresses in rock concert t-shirts and denim skirts and jeans?”
    She rolls her eyes and I resist the urge to slap her. “It’s not about the clothes, Amy, and you know it. You never liked who your parents tried to make you be. Adam just held your hand while you fought against them and found yourself. That’s all.”
    I watch her pale blue eyes soften, willing me to believe her. I can’t.