Revive by Tracey Martin Read Free Book Online Page B

with the coffee and muffins, I haven’t got far, but I have got something. “I like them, don’t I?”
    â€œYou like what?”
    â€œSorry. I mean I like Gutterfly. Right?”
    Kyle glances down at his shirt. “Yeah, lots of people do these days. Their last album made them annoyingly popular. You remembering more?”
    â€œNot sure. They have a song that goes like this?” I hum some melody that popped into my head a minute ago.
    Kyle’s face brightens as he takes the lid off his coffee and waves away the steam. “Yeah, that’s them. Do you remember any of the music at the dance last night?”
    I sip my coffee, grimace and add more sugar. “The better question is whether I remember a dance last night. And no.”
    The hopeful expression falls from Kyle’s face. Now I feel guilty. Did we go to the dance together? Did we have fun? I want to know. I want to believe we did.
    I run my fingers around the edge of the cup. “Maybe it would help if you tell me more. Tell me about the dance and our classes.”
    Tell me about myself. I’m reluctant to say that part though. Although I trust Kyle for no good reason, I’m reluctant to let on how much of myself I’ve lost.
    â€œNever show weakness. Weaknesses—and never real ones—are only something to be expressed in a calculated decision when trying to reach a goal. Use fake weakness to manipulate other people. Don’t let other people use your real ones to manipulate you.”
    There’s that woman’s voice again. It grates on my ears. Or, well, my brain, since she’s a memory. But there’s value in what she says.
    Vulnerability is dangerous. I should hide what I can. Even if Kyle is okay to trust, the paranoia remains.
    They’re coming.
    I know. I’ve met them. Stuff it already, brain.
    Kyle seems to be considering, drinking his coffee thoughtfully. “There’s a lot I could tell you. It probably makes more sense for you to tell me what you remember. Then I can fill in the gaps.”
    The problem is: it’s mostly gaps. And the parts I remember are not things I think I should share. But right. I won’t let that on. Weakness is bad. Mission was secret. Got it.
    â€œOkay, starting backward. Um, the dance.” I close my eyes, begging my mind to release more memories.
    One finally comes with the force of a hurricane.
    Nine is stalling me in the bathroom. “I think we should go over this makeup thing again.”
    â€œAre you kidding? We spent the past half hour painting my face various shades of…” I consult the containers in my hand, “…Desert Peach and Urban Twilight. Who names these things?”
    â€œPlease. Who cares?” She’s practically whining, batting her non-mascaraed eyelashes at me.
    Above, one of the fluorescent tube lights flickers. Maintenance was supposed to have fixed that yesterday, so how come it’s not done? It’s making my eye twitch. Or maybe that’s the makeup.
    â€œYou leave me tomorrow for who knows how long,” Nine continues. “You’re getting to GO.”
    When she says it, the word is clearly in all caps.
    Nine has made no attempts to hide her jealousy. It’s for exactly that reason she’s not the one who was selected. She wants it too bad, and that makes her untrustworthy. I’ve told her this, for all the good it’s done.
    As for me, GO is a mixed blessing. My stomach knots when I think about it. I’m ready for this. I’ve been preparing for weeks. I’m trusted. Yet I’m silently freaking out and don’t want to show it. Showing it is weakness.
    Actually, feeling it is weakness. Showing it would just be embarrassing.
    I wave the containers at her. “I don’t even plan on wearing this stuff. It’s irritating, and if I rub my face, it smears. I don’t like it.”
    Nine rolls her eyes at me. “Think of it like camo