didn’t. I knew why it felt strange; it was because there was another room I wanted to be in much more. There was another house, another home that was my comfort. If I closed my eyes I could hear the wind whistling through the trees and hear the fire cracking in the hearth.
A soft knock sounded on the door, and I hurriedly wiped my face and ducked my head as Jillian entered the room carrying a clean towel and washcloth. I stood awkwardly to the side, trying my best to look normal but failing miserably.
“We left everything the way it was,” Jillian said while placing the towel on the bed and turning on the bedside lamp. “Your father and I hoped that you would come back someday,” she sighed and faced me. “The little ones will be so happy that you are home. Especially Justin, he asks about you every day.”
Touched, I looked away. I knew I had hurt Jillian, Dad, and my brothers by leaving, but I hadn’t really thought about the effect it would have on my half-siblings. I crossed the room to my dresser and pulled out my old pajamas.
“What exactly did you tell them?” My voice cracked as I tossed the flannel pants and t-shirt onto my bed.
“We told them and anyone else who asked, you had enrolled in a foreign study program. You were in Norway living with my brother and attending classes at his school.” I nodded my head and thought of Jillian’s crazy older brother, Joel, who lived in Norway. I had met him twice and he was even crazier than the stories Jillian would tell about him. I knew the two of them trusted each other more than anything, and if Jillian asked him to say I was living with him, then he would do it without asking questions.
The more I thought about the plan, the smarter it seemed. Joel had been living in Norway for the last nine years and was head of a local school. I smiled to myself as I realized how logical my absence could sound.
“Thanks,” I said. “I wouldn’t have been able to come up with something that good.”
“It took some thinking,” she shrugged as she took the decorative pillows off my bed and placed them on the floor. I watched while she turned down the comforter and the three blankets that were layered beneath. She straightened, “Are you all settled?”
“I think so,” I nodded. “I’ll just get changed and brush my teeth. Do I still have a toothbrush?”
“Not you’re old one. Before the kids got up on the morning you were gone, we packed away some of your stuff. We wanted to make it look like you had actually left. It’s all in a big box at the boys’ apartment. We can get it tomorrow.”
“Okay, I’ll just use my finger. No worries.” I shrugged and yawned without thinking.
Jillian walked across the room and gave me a tight hug, her thick sweater tickling my nose. “So glad you’re home.”
“Me too,” I said and as she turned to leave, she paused at the door.
“Be sure to sleep in nice and long,” she smiled, knowing how tired I was. “Goodnight.”
“Night,” I said just before the door clicked shut.
A sigh of relief escaped my lips, and I changed clothes hurriedly while placing the pack with the dagger on my bedside table. I was exhausted and I hoped that sleep would take me quickly, but that was not meant to be. For the first time since Lathmor I was alone and had nothing to keep me busy. The past two days I had swum constantly to avoid this feeling; the weight of what had happened crashed over me.
I let the images of him fill my mind. He moved behind my eyelids doing tasks of no importance. I watched the memories of him as he carved a swan out of wood. I saw him slicing the meat for dinner, picking out one of his favorite books for me to read, laughing in the firelight, giving me a bracelet that was more beautiful than anything I had ever owned.
My fingers found