She heard me.”
Mom’s voice traveled up from the kitchen. “I’m busy making dinner. What do you want?”
“I knew she’d hear me.”
Attie tapped her foot on the floor in annoyance. “The entire neighborhood heard you.”
“Get up here and tell us if Attie looks like a Hooters girl and is showing off too many of her lady parts.” I started laughing and looked back at the stripper. “That’ll get her attention.”
The heels of Mom’s shoes clopped across the hardwood floors as she hurried to join us.
“Told you so.”
Mom was completely out of breath by the time she made it to the landing and spotted Attie. “Oh dear,” she gasped. “Riley, cover your eyes.”
Attie grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her waist. “I knew it! What in the world am I going to do?”
Mom slapped me on the head. “Cover your eyes.”
“Good Lord, I’ve seen her in a bikini. This isn’t any big deal. And it was a bikini you picked out, by the way.”
“I don’t care. Cover your eyes right now or you’re grounded.”
I slapped my hands over my eyes. “You act like I’m twelve.”
“No, I’m acting like you’re seventeen and your girlfriend’s standing in front of you a quarter of the way dressed—if that.”
“I thought she looked good.”
“I bet you did.”
A smack accompanied an explosion of pain on my temple as Mom’s hand again made contact with my head.
“Ow.”
“Tom, get up here!”
Although I couldn’t see anything, I could hear Mom walk closer to the half-naked cheerleader. “It’s okay, Attie. We’ll get Pops’s opinion. He’s the principal, and he’ll know if it’s too small.”
I heard Dad make his way up the stairs and step into the hallway. “Why are the boy’s eyes covered?”
“Well, Tom, it seems we have a little problem with Attie’s cheerleading uniform.”
“Little being the word of the day,” I added while rubbing my throbbing scalp with the hand that wasn’t covering my eyes.
“You’ll see,” Mom said. “Keep your eyes covered, Riley. Take the towel off, Attie.”
“Do I have to?” Attie and I asked simultaneously. I wanted to uncover my eyes, and she wanted to stay covered.
“Yes.”
I slightly spread my fingers so I could peek through and watched as she opened the towel. I still thought she looked amazing.
“Uh, no,” Dad said quickly. “You aren’t wearing that in public.”
Attie threw the towel closed before bursting into tears. “Well, what am I going to do?”
I closed my fingers so I wouldn’t get caught and listened as Dad walked toward her. It was obvious by the sound of his voice that he was trying not to laugh but finding it hard not to. “Maybe we can get all the girls together and see if you can swap with someone. If not, we’ll just have to order you a new one.”
“There’s no way it will be ready in time for the game on Friday,” Attie cried.
“Let me just say,” I said with my hand still covering my eyes, “as a player, I would find myself extremely motivated to do well if I had Attie dressed like that and cheering for me on the sideline. Either that or I’d wanna be benched so I could watch her cheer all night.”
My mother slapped me on the head again.
“You’re digging a grave for yourself, son,” Dad warned.
“I just thought you’d want input from one of the people she cheers for.”
“You thought wrong.”
“Get your mind out of the gutter,” Mom insisted.
“Surely we can work something out. I’ll go call Coach Tyler right now and find out what we should do. In the meantime, Attiline, take that loincloth off and get some clothes on.”
“Yes, sir.”
I heard footsteps disperse in various directions.
“Can I uncover my eyes now?”
Nobody answered.
“Hello?” I peeked through my fingers and realized that the dogs and I had been left alone on the landing.
Unfortunately, the peep show was over, and next time I saw Attie she’d be fully clothed.
(Attie)
Pops paced the family