bathroom. Lay on the floor. Lay my head on my arm, the tile the temperature of water thatâs been sitting out on a counter all night, and stare at the base of the toilet, the dust caked up around it like Spanish moss. I lay for so long I could be asleep. I lay for so long that when I raise my head from my arm, my hair has marked cursive I canât read into my skin. The floor tilts like the bottom of a dark boat.
âEsch!â Junior screams as he tries the doorknob, slaps the door, and then bangs out of the back door to pee off the steps.
âEsch?â Randall calls.
âIâm shaving my legs!â I told this to the tile, hoarse.
âShaving? Iâm too old to pull a Junior.â
âIâm almost done.â I bend over the sink and drink until I donât feel like throwing up anymore. Even after I turn the water off, I still keep swallowing. My tongue feels rolled in uncooked grits, but I still swallow. Repeat I will not throw up, I will not throw up, I wonât . When I walk out of the door, I follow the baseboards.
âYou okay?â Randall stands in my way.
âI rinsed the hair out the tub,â I say. âDonât worry.â
The sound of Daddy chugging the working tractor through the yard, I ignore. In bed, I pull the thin sheet over my head, mouth my knees, and breathe so hot it feels like two people up under the sheet.
When I wake up for the second time, the air is hot, and the ceiling is so low, the heat canât rise. It doesnât have anyplace to go. Iâm surprised Daddy hasnât sent Junior in here to get me up by now, to work around the house and prepare for hurricane. Late last night, he and Junior carried some of the jugs in, lined them up against the wall while I made tuna fish. Daddy kept counting the bottles over and over again as if he couldnât remember, glanced at me and Randall as if we were plotting to steal some. If Randallâs told him that Iâm sick, he wonât care. Maybe theyâve scattered: Junior under the house, Randall to play ball, Skeet in the shed with China and her puppies. My stomach sizzles sickly, so I pull my book from the corner of my bed where itâs smashed between the wall and my mattress. In Mythology , I am still reading about Medea and the quest for the Golden Fleece. Here is someone that I recognize. When Medea falls in love with Jason, it grabs me by my throat. I can see her. Medea sneaks Jason things to help him: ointments to make him invincible, secrets in rocks. She has magic, could bend the natural to the unnatural. But even with all her power, Jason bends her like a young pine in a hard wind; he makes her double in two. I know her. When I look up, Skeetâs standing in the door looking like heâs going to cry.
âWhatâs wrong?â
Skeetah shakes his head, and I follow him.
Inside the shed, the puppies are swimming in the dirt. They lay on their bellies, their feet sticking out like small twigs, bobbing on the dusty current. They twitch and roll. They are silent. They are pink yawning tongues. All but one paddles toward China, grabs her abdomen like we do sunken trees at the river. They have trouble grabbing her tits, knead her belly with their paws like we do with our feet when we balance on the slimy trunks. All but one swims and sucks.
He is the white and brown. He is the cartoon swimmer, the puppy who dove like Big Henry when he was being born. He lays face down. His mouth opens and closes like he is eating the shed floor. Skeetahâs face is so close to the puppy that when he talks, the brown and white fur flutters, and it almost looks like the puppyâs moving.
âHe was okay early this morning. Ate once and everything.â
âWhen you noticed him like this?â I ask. The puppy turns his head to the side, and it looks like his neck is broken. Skeetah rocks back. The swimmer gasps.
âAbout an hour ago.â
âMaybe itâs China.