Sarai (Jill Eileen Smith) by Jill Smith Read Free Book Online

then, if it got him to change their traveling arrangements.
    She lifted her face in challenge, meeting his scowl, but a moment later he gentled his look and cupped her cheek with one hand. “I miss having you at my side as well, Sarai. You know this.”
    She swallowed a bitter retort. He was making this harder than it should be. “If you miss me, then why do you avoid my bed?” She leaned in closer, her voice a mere whisper, embarrassed that she should even have to ask such a thing.
    “You know why, Sarai.”
    “There are no kings about, no foreign spies. What other reason is there?” His actions of late had confused her so. Killing their pet lambs to appease his God and taking off on this journey to who knew where because of a voice he said he heard? It made no sense, and she struggled to understand.
    “The journey is taxing, Sarai. I have little desire by day’s end but to sleep.”
    His admission stung in its stark reminder that her husband was no longer the passionate man of his youth. While he still possessed the vigor of men much younger than he, his stamina faded sooner than it used to. And where desire had once shown strong, it now carried the fading sense of age. How could he possibly believe Adonai would give them a son when his body was nearly too old to father one? Though at seventy-three, surely it was still possible.
    “Then we need to stop. If you are worn out, what of Father? Have you not noticed his fatigue? He is frail, my lord, yet you have pushed us to the limit every day without even a moment to wash in the river, until I can no longer bear the odor of my own flesh!”
    Abram’s hand on her arm told her she had spoken too loudly and said too much. She should have waited until they were alone in his tent to vent her feelings. Here the servants paused to listen, and no doubt gossip would spread among them until Melah heard a disjointed version of the truth. She didn’t need Melah’s meddling and had no desire to explain herself to her niece.
    “I am sorry this has been so hard on you, dear one.” Abram’s voice drew her attention to his dark eyes, his uncertainty evident. He seemed at a loss for words. His chest lifted in a sigh, and he reached to put one arm around her, pulling her close. She leaned into him, feeling his strength, and suddenly wished she had kept her discontent to herself, wanting to comfort him.
    “I will go with you, my lord, but please don’t stay so distant even if you are too weary for love. I can’t bear it.”
    He squeezed her shoulder and kissed the top of her head. “I will do my best.”
    Eliezer approached the fire. “Excuse me, my lord, but we are ready to move when you are.” Abram released her and stood, leaving her side without another word. The loss pained her. Somewhere along the way, Abram had changed the rules of their relationship. Where once he had been playful, now he was nearly always serious, unresponsive to her banter. How was she supposed to treat him? She’d gotten her way by plying her charms, and he had won his way by confusing her efforts. The game was a trifle immature, but he had indulged her. Now he gave in without a fight, as though peace was worth any price.
    What was wrong with him?
    She snatched what was left of the flat bread from the plate and handed the empty dish to Lila to pack in the leather satchel. She had her own work to oversee. Call of God or not, she must get Abram to rethink what he was doing. Perhaps Harran would provide some answers and grant relief from her husband’s confusing choices.

    Red clay walls and gates ringed the city of Harran but did not block the taller cone-shaped and round-roofed buildings housed within. Abram stood at the head of their company, speaking to the sentries that were posted as guards. What was taking so long?
    A braying donkey sounded behind her. Sarai turned at the sense of movement and maneuvered her animal to the side to allow Melah to sidle up beside her.
    “I cannot wait to get