Secrets in the Marriage Bed by Nalini Singh Read Free Book Online

Was that healthy? Would she wake up one day to find her child grown and Caleb buried in work, leaving her alone and adrift? Would she become like her grandmother, convincing herself that jewels and parties could fill the void where her dreams and goals, her self-respect, should have resided?
    And what if their marriage failed despite everything? She didn’t have a shred of doubt that Caleb would support her and their child, but she wanted to be able to take care of herself, wanted to be more than she was right now. It would have been one thing if she’d chosen to be a homemaker because it was right for her, but she hadn’t. She’d just drifted into it because it was what Caleb seemed to want.
    It was time to make her own choices.
    But no matter how much she tried to convince herself that study was a good idea, she couldn’t get past her need to do something. Another two or three years in academic limbo seemed like a life sentence after the years she’d already lost. But what could she do? What was she qualified for?
    Nothing.
    Even more frustrated than when she’d started, she put away the catalogues and spent the rest of the day pulling non-existent weeds from the back garden. The portable phone beside her rang mid-afternoon. It was her mother.
    “Did you get my card? I’ll be flying into Auckland sometime in the next couple of weeks. Coffee?” Danica asked in that voice that had acquired a slight Mediterranean accent over the years.
    Vicki agreed, aware that it was more than likely Danica would forget to keep the date. Her mother’s haphazard visits were something Vicki had gotten used to. At least that was what she told herself. “Give me a call when you get in.”
    Hanging up after a quick goodbye, she started pulling weeds with too much force, sending dirt flying everywhere. It took her ten minutes to calm down enough to realize she’d pulled out most of the dark purple and yellow pansies she loved. How did her mother always manage to agitate her so much?
    Forcing herself to think through the furious buzz of emotion, Vicki apologized to the plants, replanted the ones that weren’t too bedraggled and began to reorganize a border of stones around the garden. After a while, the repetitive physical activity numbed her emotions enough that she felt marginally better, though she knew it was a delaying tactic against not only dealing with her future, but also her chaotic feelings toward Danica.
    She was picking up a big stone to reposition it for the seventy-sixth time when Caleb walked around the side of the house. He’d taken the stone from her before she could say a word of welcome. “Where?” he asked, face grim.
    She pointed to the right spot. “You look like you saw a ghost.”
    He set down the stone and straightened. “I saw my pregnant wife threatening to kill herself hauling stones that didn’t need to be moved.” He was scowling, clearly not amused.
    She rolled her eyes. “I was fine.” Then she grinned. “You’re home in time for dinner.”
    “I was hoping you’d notice.” He rubbed a smudge of dirt off her nose. “Have you been rolling around in the mud again?”
    Laughing, she took off a glove and pushed at him. “Change. Then come help me in the kitchen.” For a second, their camaraderie was like when they’d first married. He’d come home countless times to tease her that she looked like a laborer’s assistant with her broken nails and paint-splattered overalls. Then he’d lift her up in his arms and swing her around, both of them laughing with happiness simply because they were together.
    Caleb’s grin faded as she stared at him. “What do you see?” he asked.
    “Us. Before we lost each other.” The words came from somewhere deep in her soul where they’d been trapped for what seemed like forever. Under her hand, his heart beat strong and loud, but she wondered if it still beat for her as passionately as it once had.
    “We’re not done yet,” he said. “Not by a long