Seven Seasons of Buffy: Science Fiction and Fantasy Authors Discuss Their Favorite Television Show (Smart Pop series) by Gilene Yeffeth Read Free Book Online

control over his drainage. Finally he could stand no more of it and had to leave Sunnydale because he knew he could never be a man so long as Buffy was sucking the testosterone out of him.
    In fact, as we all know, he rediscovered his manhood down in South America without her. Remember when he came back season before last as a special guest? He was our beloved commando all over again—scarred and everything. He kicked butts and took names; meanwhile, the Buffy character reverted back to being whiney. Once he’s gone, she’s strong again.
    But I think the most tragic example of Buffy’s feeding comes from the character of Spike.
    Ahhh, Spike. The mere mention of his name makes me smile and at the same time makes me sad. Now here was a truly great villain. From the moment he walked in and toasted the Master’s protégé to the episode where he went to blow the Slayer away even while he had a chip in his head, he was BAD.
    Before he allowed Buffy to drain him, he was the Dirty Harry of the vampire world. Even with his wings clipped by the Initiative, he was still his nasty barbarous self, pitting Scooby against Scooby and letting fly stinging comebacks and one-liners.
    Until the day he discovers his Slayer obsession. He loves Buffy. From there it is a slippery slope that leads him down to the sad shape he’s in now.
    Here we really see the fact that, much like the Stygian Witch’s Eye, there can only be one set of balls per episode and it must be handed back and forth between the characters. Since the show is named Buffy , by default the balls will always revert to Buffy.
    Whenever Spike is strong, Buffy is weak. Case in point, when Buffy dies, Spike takes care of the Scoobies and Dawn; when Buffy returns, he becomes submissive to her and allows her to run roughshod over him even when she’s clearly wrong.
    This culminates into Spike deciding that he can’t stand handing his balls over to her anymore. Becoming the vampire we remember from the beginning, he journeys to the ends of the earth where he can battle it out to become what he was before. Of course both Spike and the viewers believe he will become his former evil self.
    But since he is now involved with Buffy and she has him under control, like Dracula with his Renfield, Spike doesn’t revert to his former vampire self. He, just like Angel, gets his soul back and is now nothing more than Buffy’s punching bag.
    Gone is the Spike of legend, the Spike who once slew two Slayers without hesitation, and in his place is a tragic shell that is often abused by not just Buffy, but all the cast.
    It appears that in the Battle of the Balls, Buffy has finally won the ultimate victory. Poor Spike wasn’t as lucky as Angel or Riley, who were able to leave before they became Buffy’s Renfield. Spike is now on the level of Xander, who once put into words the feelings of every male character on the show: “As of this moment, it is over. I’m finished being everyone’s butt monkey.” But as we have seen, he didn’t leave and he hasn’t regained his manhood.
    Now that Spike no longer has balls, it begs the question: who will be next? I thought for a minute Willow might have them, but, as we saw, Buffy the Testosterone-Sucking Vampire, with the help of her emasculated Xander, defeated her.
    I believe this is why Buffy had such a hard a time defeating The First during the final season. The last time she faced The First, she had Angel to feed from. With Spike, Xander, and Willow completely drained of testosterone, she had no one to turn to for power.
    Enter Faith. Why else would we bring Faith back? Not to mention the fact that poor Faith also fell victim to Buffy’s gonad suckage. At one point, they even had to knock her unconscious so that Buffy could suck her dry.
    I will never forget sitting down to view the final show. I like to call this the Symphony of the Balls. It was truly spectacular to behold. Like some legendary football game, we watched the great ball handoff