Silence Of The Hams by Jill Churchill Read Free Book Online

stuff to deliver. If it’s not ready, I’ll wait outside. I really should be helping in the kitchen and stuff, but I won’t if it’ll keep you off my back about it.“
    “That’s a deal,“ Jane agreed, knowing he’d keep his end of the bargain and vowing that she would, too.
    Todd came back with the Frisbee and Mike flung it for the dog a couple times before he left. “So what’s up for the day, Todd, old thing?“ Jane asked.
    “Taking my Legos over to Elliot’s. He’s got a book of things you can build and there’s this neat spaceship, but he doesn’t have enough pieces.“
    “But if you mix them up, how will you know which ones are yours?“ Jane asked, wishing the answer would be that he was giving all of his to Elliot. As much as she’d invested in them, it would be an unbelievable luxury to know she’d never step on one of them in the dark in bare feet again.
    “Oh, we’ll remember,“ he said, dashing her hopes.
    “Promise me you’ll take them away with you when you go to college,“ she said wanly.
    “Yeah, sure,“ he said, rolling his eyes.
    Jane went inside and tried to wake Katie, without any luck. By the time she’d showered and dressed, Katie was still asleep. “Get her, Willard,“ Jane said.
    Willard didn’t know many tricks, but he loved this command. It meant he had permission to leap on a bed. He did so now, giving Katie a sloppy lick.
    Katie shrieked, thrashed around, and burrowed under the covers. “Mom! Get him off me. That’s disgusting!“
    “Katie, it’s eight-fifteen. You have to be at bible school before nine.“
    “That’s centuries away!“ came the muffled reply.
    “Five more minutes. That’s all. C’mon, Willard.”
    By the time Jane had run a brush through her hair, contemplated and rejected the idea of a new perm, and slapped on a minimum of makeup, she could hear Katie crashing around, so she went back outside. Shelley called invisibly from some window of her house. “Going to be there a while?”
    Jane looked at her watch and called back, “Seventeen minutes.”
    Shelley appeared through the garage door a moment later. “Jane, maybe I shouldn’t tell you this, but your youngest child appears to be running away from home. He’s trudging down the street with a suitcase.“
    “Gee, I hope he gets a good job and sends money home,“ Jane said. “That’s his Lego collection going to Elliot’s house.“
    “For good?“ Shelley exclaimed.
    “Don’t get your hopes up. Elliot’s mother is no fool.“
    “Did you talk to Mike about his job?”
    “Mike talked to me first,“ Jane said. She recounted the conversation.
    “So it’s common knowledge that somebody pushed the rack over on Stonecipher,“ Shelley said.
    “Well, at least that there’s something fishy about it. Maybe if he hadn’t been so thoroughly disliked, people might just think the police had time on their hands.”
    Shelley had brought along a thermal mug of coffee and took a long, cautious sip. “You know, somebody must have liked him. Didn’t he have adherents to any of his causes?“
    “Oh sure, but then he’d move on to another cause and lose them. Nedra Payne practically worshipped him when he was campaigning to outlaw smoking everywhere, including inside people’s own houses. She even tried to get me to sign her petition. I wished I’d come to the door with a cigarette so I could have blown smoke in her face. A cigar would have been even better.“
    “Nedra Payne?“ Shelley asked.
    Jane blew out her cheeks like balloons. “Oh, that Nedra Payne. The woman with the figure like Kentucky.“
    “Right. He was her hero until he lost that one, then he got on the thing about the fast-food restaurants, and she took offense because he made some slighting remark about how she obviously wasn’t interested in her health or she wouldn’t burden her heart with all that extra weight. And she told me all this, expect- ing sympathy. I just looked at her and said, ‘What’s your point,