taking three months off. Im babysitting for my sisters twins while she and her husband are in South America.
The Demolition Derby Boys? No kidding?
Charleys met the twins. The memories have never left him.
You know Id never subject an animal to them. Even though they play gently with Chipper and treat him like gold, I dont want to risk it.
You may have to. Otherwise we dont know what to do with this guy. You are his last, best hope.
Dont do that to me, Charley. I just cant take another dog right now.
Oh, this isnt a dog. Its a cat.
Oh, no you dont! No cats. Ive done my time with them. Remember the time that one took up residence in my ceiling fan? I couldnt use the light in my living room for weeks. And the one that hauled my Thanksgiving turkeywhich was triple its weight, by the wayoff the table and onto the floor? Oh, yes, and the one that found its life passion was shredding my panty hose?
So youve had some feisty ones, thats all. You loved them all, havent you? And their new owners simply adore them. Cats are wonderful pets.
I dont disagree with you. I just cant take one right now. Im not even feeding and housing strays anymore. I had to lay down the law. Ive started chasing them away. No strays are allowed to enter my home until the boys are gone. Including thisChesteror whoever he is.
He raised one eyebrow and his bald head creased, moving the Mohawk slightly.
They cant even be in your yard?
I took another handful of chocolate. This conversation was making me nervous. Well, they can hang around outside if they like. Its a free country.
And you dont feed them?
No, I dontat least not anything good. Just some dry generic stuff I buy at the farm supply store.
Dry-as-dust food? No water. How do they swallow?
Theres water, of course. And, if I feel like it, I admitted reluctantly, I soften the food with a little warm milk.
And how often do you feel like it? All of the time? Some of the time? Most of the time? He sounded like a quiz from an Oprah magazine.
Certainly not all the time.
I see. How anyone whose head is painted to look like a parrot can make me feel guilty is beyond me, but Charley did.
I usually dont get time on Fridays.
So you do warm their food Saturday through Thursday?
I suppose so.
And no treats, I imagine.
Of course not! Except for allowing them to have the juicy bits left over in the tuna can after I make my lunch.
You sound like a real drill sergeant, Suze. I think you can handle this cat for a few days and manage the twins as well. After all, you dont have to get attached to it. You dont need to let it think that your house could possibly be its permanent home.
I wont have time to work with it, Charley. This isnt like the other times. I wont be able to sit around and pet it or pick it up when it meows.
I wouldnt even dream of expecting it. I want you to ignore it. No playing, no petting and certainly no cuddling. Its the best thing for all involved, except the cat, of course.
The twins
Are top priority. The cat will be no trouble at all, Im sure.
It will have to stay in the basement or my garage. No fooling, Charley. I wont have it lolling around on my furniture.
So I can drop it by one night soon?
Im not kidding this time, Charley. I will not make a fuss over this animal.
Done.
As I got into my car to drive away, the import of the conversation hit me. How had that happened? I told Charley no at every turn and he still thinks hes delivering a cat to my house.
Darla, looking like a contemporary Marilyn Monroe with her blond curls and I, exhausted and looking more like Ebenezer Scrooge, arrived at the doors outside baggage claim at the same time. She flung her overnight case into the back of my car and hopped in.
Isnt this exciting? Im going to ask the Realtor if theres anything near you. Id like a townhome or a condo, of course. I dont have a string of critters living with me all the time so I dont need a house.
I smiled at her benevolently. Dont hurry into that decision
The Demolition Derby Boys? No kidding?
Charleys met the twins. The memories have never left him.
You know Id never subject an animal to them. Even though they play gently with Chipper and treat him like gold, I dont want to risk it.
You may have to. Otherwise we dont know what to do with this guy. You are his last, best hope.
Dont do that to me, Charley. I just cant take another dog right now.
Oh, this isnt a dog. Its a cat.
Oh, no you dont! No cats. Ive done my time with them. Remember the time that one took up residence in my ceiling fan? I couldnt use the light in my living room for weeks. And the one that hauled my Thanksgiving turkeywhich was triple its weight, by the wayoff the table and onto the floor? Oh, yes, and the one that found its life passion was shredding my panty hose?
So youve had some feisty ones, thats all. You loved them all, havent you? And their new owners simply adore them. Cats are wonderful pets.
I dont disagree with you. I just cant take one right now. Im not even feeding and housing strays anymore. I had to lay down the law. Ive started chasing them away. No strays are allowed to enter my home until the boys are gone. Including thisChesteror whoever he is.
He raised one eyebrow and his bald head creased, moving the Mohawk slightly.
They cant even be in your yard?
I took another handful of chocolate. This conversation was making me nervous. Well, they can hang around outside if they like. Its a free country.
And you dont feed them?
No, I dontat least not anything good. Just some dry generic stuff I buy at the farm supply store.
Dry-as-dust food? No water. How do they swallow?
Theres water, of course. And, if I feel like it, I admitted reluctantly, I soften the food with a little warm milk.
And how often do you feel like it? All of the time? Some of the time? Most of the time? He sounded like a quiz from an Oprah magazine.
Certainly not all the time.
I see. How anyone whose head is painted to look like a parrot can make me feel guilty is beyond me, but Charley did.
I usually dont get time on Fridays.
So you do warm their food Saturday through Thursday?
I suppose so.
And no treats, I imagine.
Of course not! Except for allowing them to have the juicy bits left over in the tuna can after I make my lunch.
You sound like a real drill sergeant, Suze. I think you can handle this cat for a few days and manage the twins as well. After all, you dont have to get attached to it. You dont need to let it think that your house could possibly be its permanent home.
I wont have time to work with it, Charley. This isnt like the other times. I wont be able to sit around and pet it or pick it up when it meows.
I wouldnt even dream of expecting it. I want you to ignore it. No playing, no petting and certainly no cuddling. Its the best thing for all involved, except the cat, of course.
The twins
Are top priority. The cat will be no trouble at all, Im sure.
It will have to stay in the basement or my garage. No fooling, Charley. I wont have it lolling around on my furniture.
So I can drop it by one night soon?
Im not kidding this time, Charley. I will not make a fuss over this animal.
Done.
As I got into my car to drive away, the import of the conversation hit me. How had that happened? I told Charley no at every turn and he still thinks hes delivering a cat to my house.
Darla, looking like a contemporary Marilyn Monroe with her blond curls and I, exhausted and looking more like Ebenezer Scrooge, arrived at the doors outside baggage claim at the same time. She flung her overnight case into the back of my car and hopped in.
Isnt this exciting? Im going to ask the Realtor if theres anything near you. Id like a townhome or a condo, of course. I dont have a string of critters living with me all the time so I dont need a house.
I smiled at her benevolently. Dont hurry into that decision
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