Sociopaths In Love by Andersen Prunty Read Free Book Online Page B

talking
down to her. It made her feel childish and small. Maybe that's why
she said what she said next. Something to try and make Dawn feel
bad.
    "When we first got here, Walt asked Shump if
you were his girl and he said you were all of theirs. Do you sleep
with all of them?"
    "That's kind of two separate things you're
asking. First, I don't belong to any of them. I sleep with who I
want to and, yes, I've slept with all of them a number of times,
sometimes at the same time. So if you've never kissed a girl, I'm
guessing you've never had more than one guy at a time?"
    "You're asking about my past. We don't talk
about our past."
    Dawn smiled. "Good. You're learning." She
paused. "But, there's a first time for everything and if you'd ever
like to try it, tonight would be a really good night to start. I
could totally get off on watching them fuck you."
    Who were these people?
    "I feel like you all just talk in circles
. . . When you're not talking gibberish."
    "How so? I just said I'd like to get off
while watching the Boys fuck you. I thought that seemed pretty
direct."
    "Not that. Everything else. It's like
. . ."
    "Religion?"
    Erica thought about it but didn't say
anything.
    "There really isn't much point in trying to
explain things," Dawn said. "What we have is a powerful gift. It's
going to take using that gift before you get comfortable with it.
And, by that point, you'll realize how useless it is trying to
explain it."
    Lost in thought, Erica took an absent drag
from her cigarette. Aside from the things she'd seen in the short
time since hooking up with Walt, there was a bigger thing, a bigger
feeling that filled her with unease.
    "I guess," she said, "what I'm wondering is
. . . do the people who have this gift only use it to do
terrible things?"
    "I'm not sure what you mean."
    "Dead dogs. Dead people. Stolen goods. Do
you do things just because you can get away with it?"
    "Yes. It serves the self. There is nothing
terrible about serving the self. Consider it the best way to avoid
failure."
    "How so?"
    "Most people who do 'good' things to help
other people are only doing those things to garner some kind of
adulation. So who the fuck cares? If Gandhi and Jesus were
interested in only doing good things you wouldn't know either of
their fucking names. They'd be anonymous. And what if they
performed their miracles or good deeds or whatever and no one paid
a bit of attention? Then they would have just been colossal
failures. Think about it. How many people get to do whatever the
hell they want? Not many. So, I guess, if you wanted, you could
live a life of deprivation but who the hell would choose that? Only
the type of person who gets off on being deprived. It's still that
person serving himself. Also, think about one of the reasons you're
able to do whatever you want. Maybe that explains why none of us
are particularly altruistic. We are who we are because we've been
largely ignored. You can't help people who don't want to be helped
so you might as well help yourself."
    Erica watched the fire devour the wood, both
things beautiful and transient in their own way. Two things coming
together and making a utilitarian spectacle only to leave behind a
pile of ash to blow away in the wind or be beaten into the earth by
the rain. She started giggling, unable to stop herself. She'd
forgotten about the beer and reached down, opening one of the cans
and taking a long chug just so she'd have something in her mouth to
prevent the giggling fit from becoming an all out bout of lunatic
laughter. Dawn opened hers, stood up, walked over to Erica and
straddled her.
    "I think you're way crazier than you think,"
Dawn said.
    She kissed Erica's forehead on the
horizontal stripe.
    "Not that I'm talking about my past or
anything . . ." Dawn said. "But I think you should try
this: Go to a store, take all the money from a cash register, take
that money to a homeless person or something. Maybe you won't even
be able to get his attention to give