Soul and Blade by Tara Brown Read Free Book Online Page A

it a try. Even a wee beard is some kind of special on the girlie bits.”
    “I’ll take your word for it.”
    She nudges me again. “Yer so awkward. Just show him a picture and point and say, ‘Jane likey. Jane want.’ And then grunt. He’ll get the point.”
    I finally laugh at that—the kind of healing laughter I haven’t had in ages.
    “Ya missed me, didn’t ya, Janey?”
    “I did. But I understood too.” I nod and lean into her, still laughing. She is exactly the comic relief I need at this moment.
    “How weird is this going to be with Dash’s mom, since ya basically put her golden Henry in jail?”
    “More awkward than before, which was unbearably awkward. So I’d assume, more awkward than any single thing you could compare awkwardness to. He’s Dash’s brother. And she loves him the best. It’ll be bad.”
    Angie looks like she might try to calm me down, but the car pulls up to the shop, and she smiles. I don’t smile. Instead, my insides tighten and I feel a little nauseated.
    Through my partially open window, I can see the arrogance and snobbery flowing from the bridal shop. I am nearly crawling backward to escape it when Angie sighs and makes an “och” sound as she grabs my hand and drags me from the car.
    Now I’m leaning against the car, wondering what my chances are like if I run and wishing I had a paper bag to blow in.
    But I change my mind the moment I see it.
    It isn’t a white dress and it isn’t the frilly shit in the window.
    Instead my gaze snags on a suit with a top hat on the mannequin in the window. I pause when I see him. The doll has a slighter build than Dash, but the general idea is pretty clear.
    I want to see that on him. I lift a finger and point at it. “Jane likey. Jane want.” I offer my best grunt as Angie laughs and drags me to the shop.
    “Dash will be dressed to the nines. It’s your tomboy ass we have to worry about. He probably already owns a top hat.” Angie misses seeing an evil sneer when we walk in.
    But I don’t.
    Dash’s mom, Lady Townshend, laughs. “Of course Benjamin has top hats. He has plenty of them. How lovely to see you both are on time.”
    Angie stops and smiles. “Lady Townshend, how are you?”
    “Very well, thank you. Lovely to see you, Angela.” Dash’s mom steps to Angie, fake-hugging and fake-kissing, but her eyes stay on me the entire time. “Have you gained some weight since I saw you last, Jane?”
    I hate that her greeting is what I expected. I wish I could find a greeting card that says, “Sorry I’m the white trash marrying your rich son. Oh, and double sorry I locked your other son up.”
    But I can’t.
    And as punishment for never finding that greeting card, I see Dash’s ex, Melody, standing in the corner of the room. The unknown I hadn’t planned for. I shake my head as if to clear it and his mother takes that for an answer.
    “Well, perhaps ease up on the salt for the next eight months so the dress remains perfect.” His mother fake-hugs me, oozing fake love all over me. “No one wants to spend thirty thousand dollars on a dress and come out with a bride looking like a stuffed sausage.”
    I would strangle her, but the way she says sausage tickles me. I love her British accent and wish Dash would actually use his for more than angry and drunken moments.
    Angie knows them well enough. She cocks an eyebrow, offering me some silent support. To add insult to injury, I feel like I’m in a forest surrounded by tall trees. They’re all in huge heels, but even in flats they would be towering over me.
    “How are you?” I ask with an extremely polite smile for Melody Astor, the mother-ex of all exes.
    “I am doing well. How are you and Dash?” She beams with rosy cheeks complemented by her pin-straight blonde hair and bright-blue eyes. Her little accent is perfect, just like the rest of her.
    Lady Townshend wrinkles her nose. “I do wish you would all call him Benjamin. This Dash business is a remnant of his