sensations I didn’t regret losing for a century.
Father placed the tray down and poured two cups of tea. “What did you see?” Always straightforward and to the point.
I accepted the cup and saucer he offered, the steam from the drink warming my face. “Memories. Of us.” If he could be business-like, so could I.
He sat on the chair across from the couch. “Go on.”
I glanced up at Cooper who gave me an encouraging smile as he made his way to the other side of the room to stand by the bookshelves, his posture at attention. I took a sip of tea before speaking. The hot liquid burned my throat and I coughed lightly, letting the herbs soothe my nerves. I detailed everything I had seen in the vision without interruption. My father regarded me with an impassive expression, taking in my side of our shared memories, but as I spoke, my emotions heightened, matching each scene as I recalled it. The effect was unexpected but remarkable at the same time. By the end of my recounting I felt like my body and soul had started to meld into one person. It was a strange sensation to have the new human feelings accompanying my soul ones. When I began to recount the argument we had had, Father’s mask faltered. A slight twitch in his cheek was all that he revealed but I remembered him clearer now. He was a man of few words and expressions, but the smallest quirk of his mouth spoke volumes.
When I finished speaking, the room went silent, the lack of sound deafening as if my head was stuffed in a pillow.
Father blinked. “You say there are gaps of memories.”
“Yes,” I replied.
He placed his cup and saucer on the side table and stood.
I looked at Cooper, but his eyes were on my father.
“It seems there needs to be a trigger, sir,” Cooper said standing at attention and keeping his gaze lowered as if he were speaking to a Caeleste.
Father nodded his head several times and scratched his beard. “Those memories that are being blocked, around what year do they start?”
I thought of what I knew of my human life so far and shook my head as I tried to remember the oldest human event I could that wasn’t my death day, which I had experienced enough times already to have it burned in my memory. “The memories I am missing start when I am around sixteen.”
Father and Cooper shared a look. Even though I knew they weren’t telling me everything, I kept quiet. I was the one who had something to make up for here. At least to my father.
The seconds dragged by like hours. I took another sip of tea just to have something to do other than wait for someone to speak.
Father sat back down in his chair, casually crossing his legs. “I’ve been informed of what memories Jackson has given you, but I need to know if there are any more.”
I hesitated, remembering the last kiss with Jackson that he showed me. The tea cup clattered against the saucer, but I recovered and placed them on the side table. It was a personal memory that Father didn’t need to know, but my chest ached thinking about that kiss and then how he didn’t stop Hannah from killing Leha. I swallowed, attempting to stop the tightness in my throat. Why had Jackson even bothered to show me my past if he knew he was just going to leave? He must have known me well enough to not want to go with Hannah. A part of me knew I was missing something, and only Jackson had the answer. The sooner I could earn back my father’s trust, the sooner I would be reunited with Jackson to begin my revenge.
“There is one more.”
***
I detailed the memory to Father. Jackson had showed me the memory through him and I explained his emotions as they were passed through me. I gave an abbreviated description of our last kiss, careful not to make eye contact with Cooper. It was embarrassing enough talking about kissing in front of my father.
When I was finished Father spoke quickly. “He did as I asked.” Then he got up from his chair again and stood in front of the fireplace, facing me.