Soul Music by Terry Pratchett Read Free Book Online

again.
    A-bam-bop-a-re-bop-a-bim-bam-boom .
    â€˜ What did you do to them?’ he said. ‘They sound . . . wild.’
    â€˜Sounded good to me,’ said Glod. ‘Sounded a whole lot better.’
    Imp slept that night wedged between Glod’s very small bed and the bulk of Lias. After a while, he snored.
    Beside him, the strings hummed gently in harmony. Lulled by their almost imperceptible sound, he’d completely forgotten about the harp.
    Susan awoke. Something was tugging at her ear.
    She opened her eyes.
    SQUEAK?
    â€˜Oh, nooo —’
    She sat up in bed. The rest of the girls were asleep. The window was open, because the school encouraged fresh air. It was available in large amounts for free.
    The skeletal rat leapt on to the window-ledge and then, when it had made sure she was watching, jumped into the night.
    As Susan saw it, the world offered two choices. She could go back to bed, or she could follow the rat.
    Which would be a stupid thing to do. Soppy people in books did that sort of thing. They ended up in some idiot world with goblins and feeble-minded talking animals. And they were such sad, wet girls. They always let things happen to them, without making any effort . They just went around saying things like ‘My goodness me’, when it was obvious that any sensible human being could soon get the place properly organized.
    Actually, when you thought of it like that, it was tempting . . . The world held too much fluffy thinking. She always told herself that it was the job of people like Susan, if there were any more like her, to sort it out.
    She pulled on her dressing-gown and climbed over the sill, holding on until the last moment and dropping into a flower-bed.
    The rat was a tiny shape scurrying across the moonlit lawn. She followed it around to the stables, where it vanished somewhere in the shadows.
    As she stood feeling slightly chilly and more than slightly an idiot, it returned dragging an object rather bigger than itself. It looked like a bundle of old rags.
    The skeletal rat walked around the side of it and gave the ragged bundle a good hard kick.
    â€˜All right , all right !’
    The bundle opened one eye, which swivelled around wildly until it focused on Susan.
    â€˜I warn you,’ said the bundle, ‘I don’t do the N word.’
    â€˜I’m sorry?’ said Susan.
    The bundle rolled over, staggered upright and extended two scruffy wings. The rat stopped kicking it.
    â€˜I’m a raven, aren’t I?’ it said. ‘One of the few birds who speak. The first thing people say is, oh, you’re a raven, go on, say the N word . . . If I had a penny every time that’s happened, I’d—’
    SQUEAK.
    â€˜All right , all right .’ The raven ruffled its feathers. ‘This thing here is the Death of Rats. Note the scythe and cowl, yes? Death of Rats. Very big in the rat world.’
    The Death of Rats bowed.
    â€˜Tends to spend a lot of time under barns and anywhere people have put down a plate of bran laced with strychnine,’ said the raven. ‘Very conscientious.’
    SQUEAK.
    â€˜All right. What does it – he want with me?’ said Susan. ‘I’m not a rat.’
    â€˜Very perspicacious of you,’ said the raven. ‘Look, I didn’t ask to do this, you know. I was asleep on my skull, next minute he had a grip on my leg. Being a raven, as I said, I’m naturally an occult bird—’
    â€˜Sorry,’ said Susan. ‘I know this is all one of those dreams, so I want to make sure I understand it. You said . . . you were asleep on your skull ?’
    â€˜Oh, not my personal skull,’ said the raven. ‘It’s someone else’s.’
    â€˜Whose?’
    The raven’s eyes spun wildly. It never managed to have both eyes pointing in the same direction. Susan had to resist trying to move around to follow them.
    â€˜How do I