Spill Over by Jolene Perry Read Free Book Online

stuff that’s mixing aro und inside me, tearing me apart in to so many tiny shredded pieces. T here’s no way I’ll ever be the same.
    Pictures now. A huge screen rolls down. They show some of Mom’s f i r st broadcasts ever. It was for some New York City morning show.
    Dad’s wiping tears. “I remember this,” he says. “We were just married. I was so proud.”
    I don’t think of my parents as together. Not really. Is Dad sad about losing her? I mean, it’s not like he lost her. I lost her. Lost, lost. What a ridiculous thing to say. I didn’t lose her. She was killed. She was killed while doing something she was so passionate about . S h e knew there were risks and did it anyway.
    What about me? Wasn’t I worth the risk to not do it? To stay home where it’s safe? What the hell ?
    I hear my name and my face goes back to the screen. Picture after picture of Mom and I. Behind the scenes at different places she reported from. Paris. London. Northern Africa. Egypt. Bosnia. Moscow. South Africa. Our brief trip to Antarctica. Chile.
    I can’t do it. I can’t stay here and watch this. If I thought coming into this room was hard, how the hell am I going to leave without making nice to people who have no idea what it’s like to lose their mom. No one shares this with me.
    There has to be some escape. Anything. I’d sell my soul right now for a little reprieve. Ten minutes. Two hours. Anything. I gotta get out of here. Mom’s here but not here. Everyone thinks they’re sad and broken up, but they don’t even know what it means.
    I stand up.
    D ad grabs my arm.
    “I gotta go,” I say.
    “Antony.” He shakes his head.
    I jerk my arm away and head for the nearest d oor. I don’t care where it goes. I just need out of this room. I push my way out of the doors into a narrow, quiet hallway. Service hall. Now what? My heart says again, something big.
    Dad’s right behind me. “Antony, I’ve let you be quiet, but you’re scaring the hell out of me. I’ll help you however I can, but you gotta talk .”
    “I don’t have to do anything.” I start up the hallway.
    “Antony!” he calls out after me.
    “Don’t wait up.” Now I know what I need. I need to call Trace and David to see if we can set something up. I need some serious distraction.
                 
     
     
     
     
     
    Six
     
    I don’t know what time it is , and I don’t care. The city lights have lit up a black sky for hours. I’m hammered, c ompletely shit-faced drunk, and I want it. Anything. The more the better. Maybe I’ll drink myself to death and dr own in a pile of my own vomit… O kay, actually, I do still have limits. They’re just getting fuzzier with each drink. David’s a good guy and keep s them coming.
    For my going-away party when I left for Seattle, I made my friends keep it small. I needed more than that to give me a reprieve from how I feel . The place is packed.
    “He y.” Finn nudges my shoulder. His dad is some kind of rock star or something. A drummer I think. Right now I forget, and I don’t care that I’ve forgotten.
    “What’s up, man?” I put my arm around him. I’m down to my undershirt and suit pants. It’s what I have.
    “I know you’re not really into this, but with your mom and all.”
    It takes me a moment to focus on what he’s showing me. Neat l ines of coke on a small glass tra y. I grab his straw and suck a whole row up my nose. The rush h its me hard and fast. I’ve done this once before, swore I’d never do it again, but right now I don’t give a shit about anything. The room spins.
    “ A wesome, huh?” He pats my back.
    I grin. That’s pretty much it. Every touch, every tingle shoots something like electricity through me. The only time I’ve ever felt this is with a girl. And one of those girls is walking toward me right now.
    “Hey Gem.” I smile wide. I’m like flying over the furniture, the living room. I don’t even remember whose house we’re at , and it doesn’t