Stattin Station by David Downing Read Free Book Online Page B

audience, refrained from actually doing so.
    Making his way out of the cinema, he understood why Effi had not wanted him to see it. It was a powerful film. All those German families - and there were millions of them now - whose sons were away in Russia or Yugoslavia or Africa would feel better about their being there. And if the dreaded letter should arrive, they would have some consolation in knowing that their sons had died for such an irrefutably noble cause. Effi had been that convincing.
    Arriving home to the empty apartment, Russell realised he had not bought any food. There were plenty of potatoes though, one rather sad looking onion, and an egg, which he decided to save. He sliced both as thinly as he could, and placed them in a frying pan with salt and a little ersatz butter over a low heat. They were browning nicely when Effi arrived.
    She threw her bag down, burrowed into his arms and squeezed him as tightly as she could. They kissed.
    'Hello,' she said.
    'You've been drinking,' he said, tasting the schnapps on her breath. She looked exhausted.
    'I certainly have, and I feel like more. Is there any wine left?'
    Russell poured her a glass. 'I saved you an egg.'
    'I've eaten.' Hours ago, but she didn't feel hungry. 'Put the egg in the potatoes, and I'll have a taste.'
    Russell did as he was told. 'Another early start in the morning?'
    'Oh yes. All this week, but that should do it.'
    'How was the hospital?'
    'The same as ever. Terrible. Heartbreaking. Infuriating. It's impossible not to feel sorry for most of them, but some of the things they admit to... it's hard not to feel that they deserve everything that's happened to them. I know they're just following orders, so it's not really their fault, but it is their fingers on the triggers. But... I don't know. What would any of us do in the same situation?'
    Russell stirred in the egg. 'The one thing I do know is how hard it is to break ranks. The pressure to conform, to go along with the consensus, is enormous. You need virtually everyone on board to start a mutiny.'
    Like everyone screaming 'I can't do it anymore', Effi thought. She told him what Huiskes had told her about the SS hospital. 'It was Annaliese who gave me the drink,' she added. 'She has a bottle hidden in her drawer in the ward office. I expect they all do.'
    'More than likely.'
    'And there's no end in sight is there? It's all gone downhill in a few months. Victory after victory for two years and suddenly we're holding our breath. I was looking down the ward this evening and thinking that these are the casualties of success - what on earth is failure going to look like?'
    'We'll know in the next few weeks. Whether or not he's failed, I mean. It's impossible to tell at the moment. We don't know how much the Soviets have left, or how quickly the winter will set in. One interesting thing I heard today - the weather's already turned in Siberia, so the Soviets are safe from the Japs until spring. That's a lot of men they can bring west.' 'Hmmm. How was your day?'
    Russell took the loaded plate across to the table, placed it between them, and handed her a fork. 'The usual rubbish.' He told her about the press conference, and offered an edited version of his meeting with Dallin - despite precautions, they were never completely sure that the Gestapo hadn't managed to plant a microphone. 'Then I went to see Homecoming ,' he admitted.
    'Oh, did you?'
    'You were really good.'
    'I know.'
    'And that makes you feel bad.'
    She gave him a wry smile. 'Of course. It makes me feel part of it. Just like the boys I talk to, gunning down Jews. I'm sure they're good at their job too.'
    'It's not the same,' Russell said, and it wasn't. Not completely.
    'Isn't it? It feels like it is. I'm not doing another film like that, John. I'd rather quit.'
    'Would they let you?'
    'I think so,' she said, for the first time considering the possibility that they wouldn't.
    'What would you do?' Russell asked.
    'I've no idea,' Effi said getting