Steel Me Away by Vivian Lux Read Free Book Online

said, flicking though a parts catalog and making notes on a scrap of paper.
    What the hell?
    "Did he say for how long?"
    Case raised a sharp eyebrow at me. "Um, no.  He didn't seem in the mood to chat." I felt my cheeks flush red at my faux pas.
    Crash emerged from the bathroom and humped past me with a muffled, "Scuse me," as he brushed my shoulder.  Mac was slumped brooding over his beer, three cans already gathered at his feet.  I couldn't see either Teach or the Doctor, but I could hear voices from outside.
    "Anything I can do?" I chirped to the air. 
    "Make more coffee," Crash muttered grumpily.  "Please," he added when Case shot him a look.
    I opened my mouth to ask where it was, then thought better of it and turned on my heel.  Without J. here I felt lost and awkward.  I hoped it didn't show.
    A childhood spent fetching coffee for my hungover father served me well when faced with the complicated machine in front of me.  I located a half empty container of ground coffee in the freezer and measured out enough to make a potent brew.  I worked as slowly as I could.  As long as I was getting the coffee, I was being useful. Once this task was finished, I was going to be back to waiting for J.
    Where the heck was he, anyway?
    When I brought the steaming mug out to Crash, he reacted as a drowning man being tossed a life preserver.  "Dang, that's strong," he muttered over the brim.
    "Too strong?" I asked.  "I can make another pot."
    He pulled the mug out of my reach and growled in an imitation of a dog with a juicy bone.  Bonnie the guard dog looked up from her corner and cocked a quizzical head, then flopped back to the ground with a snuffle, already bored.  Crash slurped his coffee without looking at me. 
    I felt like an intruder.
    "Anything else you need?"  I heard the hopeful note of subservience in my voice that I had hoped I had left along with Robert. 
    Crash fixed his eyes on my chest for a moment.  "Nah," he said, more to himself than me.
    "Stop waiting on that asshole," Case called from the corner.
    "I don't mind," I answered.  But I did.  Where was J.?
    The lush memories of our night in the country took on a bitter flavor.  We had run away.  And today, with the looming challenge of dinner at his mother's to contend with, he had run away again.  But this time he had left me behind
    With nothing else to do, I retreated to a workbench and stared at the tools like they meant something to me.  I was feeling familiar feelings, and I didn't like it.
    I had gone from being completely dependent on Robert right to being completely dependent on J. All of the turmoil of the past two weeks hadn't changed anything about me.  I was still a charity case, adrift, bouncing from bed to bed like a cheap gold-digger.
    I wondered what time it was.  I was hungry but I didn't feel entitled to eat their food without J. there.   I swallowed my self-loathing and stared fiercely at a wrench.  As if it was the tool's fault I was still a mess.
    The noise of an approaching motorcycle broke through my thoughts.  J.'s custom chopper roared passed the rolltop doors of the garage and my heart leaped into my throat to see him.  He moved the huge machine as if it were part of him, with a mixture of calm relaxation and authoritative power.  I realized that I had never seen him ride, I had always ridden with him.
    He swung around in one wide, lazy arc across the huge parking lot.  I couldn't help but swallow hard when I saw how his strong hands gripped the handlebars and his stronger thighs clenched the heavy metal between them.  The power in how he moved had me breathless.
    He idled into the garage and cut the motor.  There was an echoing silence.
    I didn't want to be the first to speak, because I was afraid of what I might say.  My desire for him fought viciously with my anger at him, robbing me entirely of the power of coherent speech. He swung his long leg over the back of the bike and shrugged off his leather