Steel My Heart by Vivian Lux Read Free Book Online Page B

square and through the narrow streets and alleyways of Center City. Adrenaline carried me far and fast. It felt good to run, so I ran further. The ruffle on my shirt fluttered at my waist and my fine hair streamed out behind me, frizzing up in the sudden humidity that marked the start of the Philadelphia summer.
    My feet slowed and I leaned against a shop wall, letting the still warm bricks bake my arm. Looking around, I slowly got my bearings. Crowds of people pushed past me. The whole block seemed to be one big party. I had run all the way to South Street.
    The realization made me smile, and then laugh out loud. When I had first moved to Philadelphia, it was the gritty exuberance of South Street that had fascinated me the most about my new home. Sammie and I had spent whole days wandering in and out of the shops, marveling at how the seedy bars butted up against the trendy stores, the tattoo parlors coexisted with the ice cream shops. We had bought our art supplies and pooled out meager funds to buy dinner at one of the fancy restaurants that lined the side streets.
    I hadn't been here in months. Six months to be exact.
    It was the first really warm night of the year , and the crowd was in the mood to party. I could hear music spilling out from the concert hall down the road. I let myself be carried along with the throng, just grateful to be out of the penthouse and among other people. I scanned the crowds, hopeful I might see someone I knew. Maybe they would recognize me, since I looked more like myself than I had in months.
    But no one knew me and I was jostled and buffeted. A pair of heavy boots came down on my toe. "Ow!" I yelled. I hurled myself towards the buildings to get out of the way of the crowds.
    "I.D.?" The bouncer at the door looked at me expectantly.
    I looked up at the bar, confused. Then I smiled. "Okay!"
    I hadn't been out for a drink in a bar since I turned twenty-one. The night of my birthday, Robert had bought me a bottle of wine that he ended up drinking most of himself, along with several tumblers of Scotch. It had been enough to loosen him up, and he pounced on me as soon as the bottle was drained. I accepted his desire with surprise and delight.
    But my efforts to accommodate him were in vain. He kept going soft. And when I tried to help him, he yelled at me for being a disgusting whore.
    He ended up falling asleep with his back to me as I stared at the ceiling, wondering what I had done wrong. His snores kept me up all night.
    I think that was the last time we had had sex.
    The bouncer was staring at my I.D. quizzically.
    "I know, I look really young," I explained.
    He only grunted and gestured to another man standing just inside the doorway.
    I looked away nervously. Suddenly I wasn't so sure this was what I wanted anymore. There were several motorcycles parked along the street just outside the door.
    A stocky biker with a shaved head was leaning against one of the bikes, his leg extended out straight in front of him as if it was painful. He saw me staring at the patch-covered black leather he wore despite the heat and raised a slow hand in greeting. I couldn't see his eyes, but I could feel them all over my body.
    "Okay you're in," the bouncer barked at me, startling me out of my reverie.
    I took my I.D. back and meekly headed into the door. I would have one quick drink and leave. I didn't want the bouncer thinking I was scared.
    The interior of the bar was dark and cool , less crowded than I had expected. I wondered if the bikes outside had anything to do with that.
    A cluster of men in leather were laughing in the corner. I seated myself at the farthest edge of the bar away from them, and looked at my hands. They were shaking.
    Robert may have come home by now. He would have seen my box in the middle of the floor, and learned I had defied him by keeping it. What had I done? What had I done?
    The fear was enough to propel me from my seat and turn me to the door.
    "Hey blondie, you just got here,