back to the way things
had been before Jaxon and I slept together, before he shut me
out and starting ignoring me .
Jaxon seemed to be enjoying himself just as much as
I was; we teased each other about lame tricks, we cheered each other on to land
the newer jumps and grabs we’d both been working on. At one point we got into a
snowball fight, pelting each other with powder we gathered up on a run down the
trail. Jaxon took me over to where the people who owned the trails had built a
half-pipe specifically for snowboarders and we worked it hard. Just like he did
when we’d been in practice before things got weird, Jaxon gave me tips, advice,
critiqued me as if he respected my skills as a boarder. We didn’t even stop for
lunch; Jaxon brought food with us, and we ate out on the mountain, scarfing
down ham-and-cheese pastries and guzzling thermoses hot chocolate with protein
powder added to it before we hit it again.
“I’m going to be so sore tomorrow,” I said, shaking
my head as we went up another time. “You don’t have the number of a good
masseuse, do you?” It felt weird, but good—talking to him the way I always had
before. Every time he smiled my stomach got butterflies, every time he looked
at me I could feel myself warming up. I knew I should keep my guard up and
maintain a distance, but I couldn’t make myself do it. Jaxon tweaked one of the
braids I’d put my hair into to keep it out of my face and I smacked him; he
shoved me over into the snow when we were walking to the chair lift and I
pulled him down with me, nearly yanking down his pants in the process. It was
the kind of thing brothers and sisters did, but it didn’t feel brotherly or
sisterly—and even though I was scared out of my mind, I couldn’t make myself
stop doing it, or ignore him when he did something. Once we were both back with
our parents, we’d have to stop—I knew that, and Jaxon had to have known it too.
If we acted this way around them, they’d know for sure that we hadn’t met for
the first time a day and a half before. We were too close, knew each other too
well.
I was getting all wrapped up in Jaxon just like I’d let myself get before—getting turned on by him,
almost. I couldn’t help noticing how good he looked, couldn’t help the tingles
I got every time he was close to me, or looked at me. It was stupid and crazy,
but I was letting myself fall for it, letting myself get the same stupid
feelings of interest that I’d had before he shut me out and started snubbing
me. It was too easy to let myself fall for his easy charm, to respond to his
little flirting comments, to want to do more. I had to stop myself from
dragging him over to me and kissing him over and over again. He’d never make a
move on me—it was too risky, even out on the mountain on our own—but I wanted
him to. I knew I’d have to do everything I could once we were back among other
people to pretend like I wasn’t the least bit interested in him, but even while
we flirted and taunted each other, I also knew that I couldn’t wait for the
holiday to be over. I wanted nothing more than to be away from him—away before
I couldn’t make myself stop, couldn’t fight the feelings that were brewing in
me any longer.
CHAPTER
8
Eventually we couldn’t stay out on the mountain any
longer; we were starving, and as the sun started to go down in the west, it got
colder and colder. We joked about keeping each other warm, but we knew that
there was no way to avoid having to go back to the house. Our parents would
start worrying, and that would completely defeat the purpose of our cover
story, of even having a cover story. I put my arms around Jaxon’s waist as he
drove us back to the mansion on the snowmobile, and I could feel myself
tingling all over. It was dangerous—and we’d have to be on our best behavior
once we got back—but I couldn’t help myself. It was like tumbling out of an
aerial; once you committed to the jump, you were going
Rebecca Hamilton, Conner Kressley