Stork Naked by Piers Anthony Read Free Book Online Page A

little girl safely, but she never knew her name until she grew up and quested for it. I got a reprimand for that, but I don't see how anyone could have known that whorl was there.”
    “Forget whorls are always mischief,” Che said, flying close enough to join the dialogue.
    “And there was the time a boy kissed a girl so ardently it half-summoned the stork. I got struck by the signal, and almost put in the order before realizing that it was incomplete. That was a close call.”
    “Just how are stork signals handled?” Che asked. He glanced back at the children, who were listening intently. “I don't mean how the signals are made, but once they are on their way. There must be a great deal of information encoded in those three dots of the ellipsis.”
    “There is,” Stymy agreed. “One dot identifies the parents, their species, ages, state of marriage, and such; you'd be surprised how some try to send illicit signals when they don't qualify.”
    “Not necessarily,” Surprise said grimly. “Remember, I was balked on an age error.”
    “Yes. Some thirteen-year-old girls—well, never mind. The second dot describes the baby in general terms: species, gender, appearance, potential, preference. The third dot powers the connection, locating the nearest stork and identifying the spot where the signal was made, which serves as a reference for delivery. It is all very efficient.”
    “Efficient?” Surprise repeated. “A nine-month delay is efficient?”
    “It takes forever to catch up on the paperwork. Even so, there can be problems. Once the address dot was incomplete and I had to leave the baby in the flowers.”
    “You left a baby by itself?” Surprise asked, shocked.
    “I had no choice. The parents met at a love spring, had a brief but intense session, then separated and never returned. Nine months later I brought little Azalea to the designated coordinates, but had no information where either parent had gone. I couldn't take her back to the Stork Works; they have a no-return policy. There was nothing to do but leave her in the flowers and hope for the best. As it turned out, local flower fairies discovered her and raised her. She had a talent of conversing with flowers. That was fifteen years ago; as far as I know, she's fine. I check on her every so often, just to be sure.”
    “I should hope so,” Surprise said severely. “I thought it was bad when I was delivered five years late, but to leave a baby like that—” She broke off, lest she say something unkind. She was not an unkind person.
    “Then I ran afoul of the stork-eating monster,” Stymy continued. “I had to make a wide detour around it, and that made me late delivering. In fact there was a backlog, and another black mark.”
    “Don't they do something about that sort of thing?” Surprise asked. “Or at least post warning signs?”
    “No, it's up to the individual storks to find safe routes. The authorities are not sympathetic about excuses. They say deliveries must be made on schedule and that's that.” He glanced warily at her. “That's why I had to find another couple for your baby, in a hurry. Another black mark would put me in the soup.”
    “Stork soup!” the peeve said, and all three children giggled. But Surprise noticed that Stymy did not seem half a whit amused. Instead he shuddered.
    “That's literal,” Che said, catching on.
    “His goose is cooked,” the peeve said, and there was another chorus of giggles. “Maybe someone should drop an F-Bomb on him.”
    “What's an F-Bomb?” Ted asked.
    “When it explodes, it makes everyone in the vicinity explode with proFanity.”
    That set off the children again. They loved the concept, even though they knew no proFane words.
    Che's bow appeared in his hands, a wickedly long arrow nocked. “I wonder if I can still score on a distant flying bird?” he murmured musingly. “If an obnoxious one should happen to appear in my vicinity.”
    The peeve's beak snapped shut. So,