Struggling Free (Hidden Secrets Book 5) by P. J. Belden Read Free Book Online

back, facing me.
    “Me.”
    “You care to elaborate a little for me. That doesn’t give me much to go on.”
    “When I’m not high or working, my brain keeps replaying my failures and I can’t handle it. So when I get high, the voices and instant replay stop. The guilt doesn’t eat at me.”
    Shifting to my knees, I scoot a little closer, resting my arm on the back of the couch. “Everyone makes mistakes, Jacob. That’s no reason to harm yourself.”
    He started to run his finger along my hand before lacing our fingers together. He sighed. “My failures are different. Did my sisters Kayla and Mary look familiar?”
    “Well, Mary’s kind of big in the music world, hard not to recognize her.”
    “No beyond that. Think about the news.”
    I sat quietly for a moment, thinking. I met his eyes with my wide ones. “You don’t mean…”
    “Yes. I’m their older brother. I’m supposed to protect them, see when they’re in trouble, but I didn’t see their problems. I was so caught up in me and my career that I didn’t see it. When I’m not busy, that’s all I see in my head is them being abused. They fought to stay alive while I’m partying and enjoying my life. One of my crew members helped pick me up when I crashed. He got me started. It was the only thing that helped the pain, stopped the voices.”
    Scooting closer until my knees touched his leg, I reached my hand up and cupped his cheek in my free hand. “Don’t you see that even though you didn’t save them before it happened, you were there when they needed help? Think about your sisters. Do you think that even if you knew something was wrong that they would have let you help them?”
    He laughed softly. “Probably not.”
    “See. Now it’s time to save yourself so you can be around for them and their kids for the long haul.”
    Jacob reached up grabbing my hand that still cradled his face. Meeting my eyes, he held mine. I’m working hard to keep all these feelings that are stirred up by him at bay, but when he looked at me like this I felt like he could see straight to my soul.
    “I really thought you couldn’t get more captivating than you were today, but all natural like this…” he sigh/growled, “You are a vision. Like someone straight from a dream.”
    He leans forward, his lips caressing mine again. Pushing his tongue into my mouth on a groan, he released my hands grabbing me around the waist he pulled me onto his lap. The minute I felt the moan escape from my lips, I pulled away and tried to stand up. Jacob wouldn’t let me move.
    “We can’t do this,” I breathed emphatically.
    “Why not? I can’t get you out of my head.” He breathed against my neck as he trailed kisses across.
    “You’ re my client. It’s wrong,” I replied weakly.
    “It can’t feel this good and be wrong,” he urged as his hand moved under my shirt up toward my breasts.
    I sighed and my hips started rocking against him. His touch was consuming and turned my willpower to jelly. His hand ran over my breast, causing me to arch into his touch.
    “You are so damn beautiful. When you’re around me, I see nothing but you. I need you more than my last breath. Your touch, look, words bring me to my knees.”
    Pulling the cup of my bra down, he leans forward biting my nipple through my tank top. The jolt shot straight down to my throbbing center, causing me to grind harder against him in my need for release.
    “Fuck, Vicky. I’m so damn close and you haven’t even done much of anything to me. Do you see what you do to me? You have me, Vicky. You have me. Forget all the reasons we shouldn’t and let me make you feel as good as I feel right now.”
    The voice screaming at me to stop this finally makes it through my lust fogged brain. Pulling back abruptly, I fall off his lap hitting my head on the coffee table. After a string of curses, I scrambled to my feet, moving quickly away from him. Stumbling again as I hurried backwards, I fell down landing on my