Stupid Movie Lines by Kathryn Petras Read Free Book Online Page A

there and make the kind of noise that’s going to wake this world from its stagnant slumber, or we can bloat ourselves like those who have gone before us on the synthetic pap sucked from the techno tit of those who will lead us to the tyrannical bullshit our apathetic asses sometimes deserve.
    Justine Bateman as the lead singer in the rock group
and
class valedictorian giving an ovation-winning speech at school in
Satisfaction,
1988
    On Great Dermatological Moments in Horror Films:
    Dr. DeMarco is working on a silicon treatment of the skin which would make it impervious to
micro
-meteorites!
    Dr. Petrovich (Victor Izay) getting scientific in
Astro-Zombies,
1967
    On Great Dialogues with Deaf Composers, Part 1:
    Don’t shout, I’m not deaf!
    Composer Ludwig van Beethoven (Albert Basserman) in
The Melody Master,
1941
    On Great Dialogues with Deaf Composers, Part 2:
    Huh?
    Beethoven (Albert Basserman) proving that he is deaf in
The Melody Master,
1941
    On Great Existential Movie Moments, Part 1:
    She:
Let’s kidnap the bear from the zoo.
    He:
The zoo isn’t open yet.
    She:
The. Zoo. Is. Never. Open.
    Faye Dunaway and Robert Walker, Jr., as far-out go-go kids in
The Happening,
1967
    On Great Existential Movie Moments, Part 2:
    Let’s rob a house so maybe I’d feel something.
    Too-hip Faye Dunaway as Sandy in the movie au go-go
The Happening,
1967
    On Great Humble Lines:
    Aw, banana oil!
    Hero (Minoru Chiaki) after being praised by his girlfriend for defeating the monster in
Gigantis: The Fire Monster,
1955
    On Great Moments in Dialogue:
    I don’t like the sound of that sound.
    Judy Robinson (Heather Graham) in
Lost in Space,
1998
    On Great Moments in Poetry, Bartenders and:
    America, you’re just devoted
    To every flavor I’ve got
    But if you want to get loaded
    Why don’t you just order a shot?
    Rockin’ poet-cum-bartender Tom Cruise, delivering his message in
Cocktail,
1988
    On Great Moments in Romantic Dialogue:
    Strip:
I love you. Do you love me?
    Trish:
Strip …
    Strip:
You don’t love me?
    Trish:
Oh, Strip …
    Strip:
I’m not good enough for you, is that it?
    Trish:
Strip! This is ridiculous. Oh, Strip!
    Strip:
When you’re ready to admit you love me, you can have me, but not until.
    Trish:
Strip!
    Strip (John Travolta) and Trish (Lily Tomlin) in love with wires crossed in
Moment by Moment,
1979
    On Great Romantic Moments:
    George:
You are more beautiful than the women of Thailand. More feminine than the women of France. More pliable than the women of Japan. More—
    Maria:
Stop, stop. I don’t want to hear about all these other women. What I want to hear is that you won’t leave me.
    George:
Oh, I adore you!
    Michael York and Olivia Hussey in
Lost Horizon,
1973
    On Great Scientific Observations, Hollywood and:
    There’s nothing new in either a turnip or a cow, and either can be marketed and sold without being tested. So why should a few cows with a little tiny piece of DNA material from a turnip be any different?
    Fallon (Ned Bellamy), head of the government’s “Secret Projects” section, in
Carnosaur,
1993
    On Growing Up:
    I’ve changed since we last swam in the raw, haven’t I?
    Trampy sister-of-the-groom Dorothy Malone to best-friend-of-the-groom Rock Hudson in
Written on the Wind,
1956
    On Guts, Where Kept:
    He had the courage! He had the power! … deep down inside where you keep your guts!
    Ad for
Iron Eagle,
1986

H
    On Hallucinations, Rectal:
    What can I say? These little blue midgets come into my house and, ha ha ha, they … it’s ridiculous. They took me out of the house and they stuck a needle in my head and I had some sort of a rectal probe.
    Whitley Strieber (Christopher Walken), author, explaining to a psychiatrist what happened when he was abducted by aliens, in
Communion,
1989
    On Head Questions, Clever Foreshadowing Moments About Later Guillotine Action and:
    I’m sure they’re there.… Oh, where is my head?
    Norma Shearer, looking for something in her closet in
Marie