Swallowing Grandma by Kate Long Read Free Book Online

smile, if you know what I mean. I thought he was making fun. ‘You can read too much, you know. Books aren’t life. You have to live. Catch.’
    I managed to grab a corner as it flopped down, drew it back up, then hugged the novel against my chest. I wanted to defend it or, failing that, I wanted it to defend me. ‘It’s good,’ I said lamely. I didn’t dare mention the heroine was called Fanny. Behind his back a conker thudded to the ground but he never even flinched.
    ‘No,’ he said, ‘this is good. Here.’
    He held out his hand and showed me a conker-case, green mottled with brown. I could see where the little dark spikes had dug into his palm.
    ‘Here.’
    I took it off him gingerly, held it in my fingertips. Some joke, probably, this was. In half an hour he’d be back in the common room, laughing with his mates about me.
    ‘Open it. Go on.’
    ‘Why?’
    He sighed and took it back. ‘I’ll do it, then.’ He squeezed the sides and a dark crack appeared in the green. Then the crack opened like a mouth and a segment of the casing fell away and tumbled into the grass. With his long fingers he eased the other two pieces apart and let them rock slightly on the cushion of his left hand. The conker lay in the centre like a precious bead. ‘There.’
    I leaned forward to inspect the pattern, beautiful fingerprint whirls, and the shy nude underbelly of pale skin peeping out on one side. It was so glossy it looked almost liquid; a bubble of molten wood. When I poked it, its back was waxy, glossy, like something alive. I drew back. There was another thud inches from my right foot.
    ‘Do you know what’s special about that?’
    He placed the bits of shell down on the bench by his feet and began to roll the conker between his hands.
    ‘It’ll grow into a mighty tree one day?’ I clung hard on to my book. I was going to fail this test, whatever it turned out to be.
    ‘No. Can you not see?’
    I shook my head, wishing I was back in the library doing an essay.
    ‘It’s brand new. Never been seen before. You and I were the first people ever to lay eyes on that conker.’ He tossed it high into the air and caught it neatly between two palms. ‘So it’s special, in’t it?’
    ‘Yeah, I suppose so.’
    ‘Feel that.’ He passed me one of the spiky casings and I took it more confidently. ‘Not the outside, that bit’s a bastard. The white stuff inside.’
    I had to lay Mansfield Park on the arm of the bench to follow his instruction. Then I cradled the piece of shell and stroked the lining. ‘It’s really soft. It’s like, like silk; no, suede.’ He had made me marvel.
    He nodded. ‘Fantastic, in’t it?’
    I stretched out my arm to give it back but he clapped his hand quickly up under mine and the shell went sailing into the lower branches and disappeared. My heart nearly stopped with shock.
    He laughed at my expression and I laughed with him.
    ‘Tell me something,’ I said. ‘How come you’re sitting under this tree with conkers falling all around you all the time, and you’ve never been hit?’
    He pretended to inspect his head, rubbing his fingers across his scalp, then grinned. ‘No, no it’s true, no injuries to speak of. It’s me, I’m magic. I’m charmed.’
    I thought, It’s me that’s charmed.

 

Chapter Five
    The day had begun badly.
    Dogman had appeared after breakfast, looking terrible. ‘Wolfie’s dead,’ he’d announced, and collapsed onto the settee. I’d had to go and make him a cup of tea for the shock, although it turned out Wolfie had joined the dog-angels yesterday evening. ‘He rolled over and gazed at me wi’ his big eyes, as if he were saying, I’ve had enough.’ Poll sat on the chair opposite with her hand to her cheek. ‘He’d been on his last legs a while. But I knew this were summat different. And the vet said his kidneys had failed, that was why his breath smelt, and it would be a kindness to put him to sleep.’
    Poll was in tears. ‘Nobody loves