Synister: The Push Series - Book 1 by Alexis Riddley Read Free Book Online Page A

sadness that was tangible. As tears began to pool in my eyes, I couldn't help but know this was his way, given the recent developments, of telling me everything he felt but couldn't say. This was his way of telling me I had his heart as much as he had mine.
     
    Meteor
     
    I am broken
    Pieces to a puzzle that will never fit
    A clock without time
    A soul without meaning
    A man without a purpose
    You are like the sun
    A center I cannot find
    A life I could never provide
    To a love I will never earn
    I have to say goodbye
    I need you
    My selfish plea
    A life that will never be
    Like the spine of a book whose pages are worn
    I am ragged, useless, never to be
    A shell, a hope, a mere whisper to the departed
    I reach out for your shoreline no matter the darkness
    No matter the depth I have traveled
    And every time you guide me home
    Wishing in the end you will stay with me
    I keep colliding into you
    Like a meteor to the sun
    You will never be mine
    Somehow I am still yours
    Can you want me
    This halfhearted fool
    You have placed your heart with another
    A destiny planned, choices made, love withdrawn
    Yet still I try to find my way to you
    You are my home
    Out of reach
    The road to your arms is now gone
    Lost, covered is pain and hate
    Ruined with mistakes and lies
    These are the words of desperation
    A new poison seals our fate
    A new toxin taints my dreams
    So I keep colliding into you
    Like a meteor to the sun
    I know I will break you
    Leave you lost
    But how can I lose you
    You are not mine
    So I head out alone
    Into the world of the nameless
    My words remain hidden
    Locked away where they are safe
    For you have the power to break me
    A fate I could not live through
    In this my final plea
    What could never be
    A love so pure, so deep
    It can only live within my mind
    So I keep colliding into you
    Like a meteor to the sun
     
    Tears streamed down my face before the first chorus passed through my ears. As I reached up to wipe the tears from my cheek, I felt his rough fingers as they brazed my skin. I didn't dare look at him. There was a rawness to my heart. The only way I knew to protect it, in that moment, was to keep it tucked away. In all the years we had been together, this was the closest that he had ever come to telling me how he felt. Talk about shitty timing, but did I really expect anything else? There was never a right time. Never a moment of peace and calm between us. Everything was wrong, but that was what made it right. What made this moment... us . As much as I wanted to embrace his words, tackle him to the floor, and punch him in the face for having the worst timing, among other things, all I could think about was how desperate he had to be to expose himself. As the piano faded and the room returned to silence, the only sounds were our breathing. After leaning over and placing a kiss on my cheek, Syn pushed himself off the couch.
    “I didn’t mean to make you cry, baby girl. The song is called ‘Meteor,’” he whispered into my ear before reaching out his hand and pulling me off the couch. I wanted to look him in the eye. I wanted to call him an arrogant asshole and kiss him in a tormented mixture of passion and lust. The need to be with him was carnal. Innate in a way that I had never felt before. It was as if everything about our lives had brought me to this moment. Loving him would have been easy, but Synister and I never did what was easy. We were doomed to make everything difficult.
    As our feet made their way across the floor, the only thing I could think to say was, “I’m not sad.”
    I knew there were a million things he wanted to say. A million things I needed to say. However, silence took over. With everything that had been laid out on the table in front of us, finding the right words seemed impossible. Sometimes silence was all you needed because words weren’t always what you wanted to hear.
    “What do you say we bust the hell out of these four walls and get some air and a fucking drink?”