Synister: The Push Series - Book 1 by Alexis Riddley Read Free Book Online

processing the unbelievable when he spoke. His words were a mere whisper, but they carried the weight of a thousand pounds and broke me to my core. “Don’t worry about that, B. They don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.”
    I knew otherwise. There was no coming back from this…no encore.
    “Do the guys know?” All sass was gone from my voice. It was replaced with sadness and confusion. Syn never answered me with words, just shook his head no and then placed his forehead on my shoulder. “What about Scottie?”
    “No, B. No one knows. Only you. How the hell am I gonna explain this? Scottie is my baby brother. I vowed to take care of him. And now...this. Fuck.” Synister let go of me and walked across the room, wiping his hands over his face and through his hair.
    I hated feeling out of control. Like you were hurling through the air toward a brick wall with no way to stop yourself. The next steps were out of our hands, and there was nothing I could do to make it better, or make it go away. When he demanded I come to Chicago, I assumed it was to take care of another fangirl who couldn’t take a hint. I never, ever, imagined it was this. We were going to have to fight this. My concern was if he was strong enough, if I was I strong enough. Was there even a “thing” to fight, or would we have to come to terms with this reality? Either way, I knew in my heart he was going to have to break in order to be put back together again. But how many times could one person fall apart before the pieces no longer fit?
    Syn plopped down on the couch and motioned for me to walk toward him. For some reason, I could not let go of the envelope. I didn’t know if I felt that by holding on to it that I could control it, change it. The closer I got to him, the more I could see the weight of this reality playing out on his face. Sitting down beside him, I leaned back on the couch, and as I laid my head on the leather, I felt Syn tilt his head toward mine. Sitting there in the quiet, holding a piece of paper inscribed with words that just changed every thread of reality I knew only fifteen minutes before made my heart race. Syn was the first to break the silence as he reached for his phone.
    “Synister Smith, so help me God, if you pull out some picture of a chick doing God knows what, I will bitch slap you. It will not be funny. This is serious.”
    “Calm down, B. I want you to hear something. It’s still rough, but I need your thoughts.”
    While I looked down at the paper in my hand, Syn spoke the words that would haunt me for years, “My life is still mine, at least for now.” Reaching over, he pulled the envelope out of my hand and put it on the side table. As the music and lyrics filled the space, everything was normal again. “Scottie and I were fucking around in the studio. Not your typical Push track, but Oscar has been bugging the shit out of us to do a ballad, and when he laid down the keys, I knew the song I had been messing with would gel. As always, you are the first to hear the demo. Oscar has been driving me fucking insane to hear it, so I have to know your unfiltered thoughts. All right, B, you ready?”
    “Yes.” Was all I could handle. I wasn't sure what else he could throw at me, but hearing a new song seemed the most normal thing so far tonight.
    Piano and acoustic guitar filled the space, and when the words began, I would not have believed it was possible for my heart to hurt more, but it was absolutely shattered. I loved music. I loved Synister’s lyrics more than air. They were raw, and edgy to a degree that most people didn't get. Like deep within your core, I feel you shit. This was different. Maybe it was the piano, but the interlacing of the vocals and the haunting cadence of the keys burrowed into my soul. As I listened, I realized the vocals were not Scottie’s. I had heard Syn messing around before with background vocals but never a full track. His voice was deep, seductive, with a