Taking the Lead: Lessons From a Life in Motion by Derek Hough Read Free Book Online

don’t expect people to read your mind. Being assertive requires communication—so it actually improves the quality of your relationships. I admit it: I’m guilty of being a people pleaser sometimes. I hate to disappoint, so I might do or say something that doesn’t feel true to me to make someone else happy. It’s a tough habit to break, but I’m practicing every day. You can be a nice person without compromising yourself. As a leader, you need to live your life on your own terms without asking people’s permission to do so.
    Soak up every second of this life that is given to you .
    Put your hand on your heart and close your eyes. Maybe you’ve seen me do this on DWTS with my partners backstage before we go on. It calms the nerves and helps you connect to a place of gratitude. You didn’t earn your heart; you didn’t pay for it. It was given to you as a gift. So take advantage of it, enjoy it, and treat yourself the best way possible. A lot of us are just getting through or managing. Raise your standards. Grow, progress, push yourself, and in turn you will love yourself more. And when you love yourself more, you can love others.
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    REFLECTING ON DEREK
    “Derek is one of the greatest individuals I’ve ever met, with one of the biggest hearts. When I worked with him, he taught me so much about stepping out of my comfort zone and learning to find confidence in a world that was so foreign. Coming from a professional gymnastics career, I was terrified of letting go and making myself vulnerable in a new art, but every time I did, he would say, “See, I told you you could do it.” He’s beyond talented, and I often describe him to people as a Mozart. He has a passion and a gift that are unparalleled, and it was a true honor getting to work with him. We started out as strangers, but I will forever be grateful to now call him a true friend.”
    —SHAWN JOHNSON
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4
    REAL MEN
    W HEN I WAS competing in San Francisco, my dad flew out to watch me. It was unusual for him; he was usually too busy with his work to come see me dance. I was happy to spot him in the audience, but I got a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach: something’s wrong. I put it out of my head until the competition was over. Back in our hotel room, I climbed into bed, ready to collapse from the whole exhausting day. It was late, after midnight, and the room was pitch dark. But it was eating away at me, so I had to ask.
    “Dad?” I said hesistantly. “Are you and Mom getting a divorce?”
    I’m not sure how I knew; I suppose I had sensed the tension between them for a while. Lately, my dad seemed so deflated. I couldn’t put my finger on what was wrong, but it felt like there was suddenly a crack in our family foundation. A little kid couldn’t see the reason behind it. Looking back, I have a better grasp on why it happened. My parents, over their more than twenty years together, had simply drifted apart. It happens in the best of relationships. People’s needs change and the gap between them widens. In my parents’ case, distance had a lot to do with it. Besides his work, my dad was the chairman of the Utah Republican Party for four years, and he was gone a lot. I remember only one argument between them, and it wasn’t even a big deal. They were simply on two different tracks, and eventually it took its toll.
    There was a long silence before my father answered me. “You should ask your mother.” That was his way of affirming my suspicions without having to break the painful news. If it weren’t true, I told myself, he would have denied it. But I needed to hear it to believe it. It wasn’t real until someone said it was.
    So right after we got home, I was in the car with my mother and I asked her. It was pouring, and the rain was coming down in sheets on the windshield.
    “Mom, are you and Dad getting a divorce?” I asked.
    She sighed and took a few minutes to respond. “Yes, probably. But we love you.”
    And that was it. No