Tantric Orgasm for Women by Diana Richardson Read Free Book Online Page B

is less important to ejaculate, that he is
pretty happy with how things stand at the moment; he feels quite fulfilled and
notices he is energized afterward. Through experimenting and observing the
outcomes of sex, sex begins to gain significance beyond simple entertainment. This is our usual gauge of sex—did we have fun? Was it recreational?In actual fact, far more telling about whether a good time was had or not is what happens after the experience.
    Observe the Afterward
    We tend to overlook how we experience ourselves after the sexual encounter. How do we feel? What is happening within me and between us? In workshops I insist to couples that “the time afterward is your teacher,” not my partner and I. By keeping an eye on your postcoital states, both of you will get insights into the genuine goodness of sex and what leads you where. If after making love there is at times a feeling of distance and at other times a feeling of closeness, what does this reflect? Review your lovemaking and see how it informs you. In time a totally new vision of sex starts to emerge through understanding your experience. The inquiry becomes, “How is sex able to spread its benefit to every moment of my life, every day, in and out of bed? How do I get the best out of sex as a human being, not just a human doing?”
    Recently I received an email from a couple in Australia that may serve to relax women and encourage men. After they had found a section of my first book displayed on the Internet, the male partner wrote to me saying:
    We printed the lot and took it away with us on our January break. The simple concept of letting go of goal oriented intimacy has been a revelation which has greatly enhanced the spiritual sensitivity of our lovemaking and the sheer pleasure and beauty of enjoying each moment for itself, the beauty of the feelings of each touch or caress, the moment by moment sensation of each kiss, the loveliness of each moment of body contact, instead of each action being part of the path to the goal of orgasm. Being prepared to throw away the goals and letting each moment lead to the next brings pleasure to each moment and takes away all pressure to perform. We have been married almost twenty-five years and the spiritual dimension has always been important to us, but it is easy to get caught up in our Western approach of being goal oriented in almost everything we do, and so much of the Western material we read about sex is goal oriented. Best Regards.
    Open up to the new alternative way, so that your man too can begin to experience himself in a new way. Remember, it takes a morsel before the taste can develop. Don’t just give in to going with the usual, the male-dominated sexual expression. A real woman does not stand a chance there. In giving in (or giving up), both men and women are the losers and nobody is a real winner.
    Orgasm is a gift from the divine, a sip of the sweetest nectar. It is nothing to demand, expect, or chase after. If there is too much tension coming from expectations in sex, misery or frustration is bound to follow failure. Orgasms are not required every time we make love. An easygoing, innocent, unexpectant attitude creates the milieu for the orgasmic experience. So begin to change your thoughts on orgasm. As you enter sex, do something unusual: forget about orgasm. Avoid looking for sensations that could be the beginning of a climax; avoid heading for orgasm the moment your man penetrates you. Be as receptive and welcoming to the penetration as possible, paying close attention to the feelings in your vagina.
    Observe within yourself the minute cellular phenomena present in the body in any given moment. As time is comprised of millions of magical moments strung together, the details are constantly changing, and these can become a constant source of delight.
    Living these inner changes makes the sexual experience an organic one. Orgasm is not necessarily a huge explosion, a volcanic eruption. It can be