Temporary Monsters by Craig Shaw Gardner Read Free Book Online Page A

moving. He remembered to breathe. He had wanted to get very close to those women very quickly. And—according to all those movies—he would have ended up very dead.
    â€œDoes anybody show up here who isn’t a team member?” the vampire in violet complained. It was her turn to sigh. “Another night without a decent meal.” She glared at the male vampire. “It was different, long ago . . .”
    â€œIsn’t that just like him?” the rose vampire agreed, staring at the Baron. “When you first meet, it’s all fangs and candlelight. And then once he gets you home . . .”
    Both fanged females snorted derisively.
    â€œBrittany. Taylor,” the male vampire chided, looking first at the blonde, then the brunette. “We can discuss this another time.” He turned back to Lenny and the others. “You may call me—the Baron.”
    â€œThe Baron is the final member of our team,” Karnowski explained.
    â€œA mere member?” The Baron might have sneered. It was hard to tell with the fangs. “Would the team exist without my skills?”
    The vampire women laughed, a sound as cold as winter wind. The Baron seemed not to notice.
    Lenny’s brain—once again his own—kept trying to find positives. Ghost hunter, psychic, werebeast, vampire—that pretty much covered all the bases. And these creatures were his co-workers, after all. Better to have them with you than against you, right? His gaze wandered back to the closed coffin.
    â€œWe mostly do night work,” Karnowski explained, perhaps unnecessarily.
    â€œHerbert,” Lenore said to the Baron. “We have a situation here.” She briefly told him about Wither’s unfortunate conversion.
    The Baron grimaced, showing far more of his fangs than he had before. “This is what happens when I am not available. They’ve transformed him during the day?”
    Lenore nodded. “We don’t know how they did it. We have no idea even
who
did it. We have to suspect them all. But there’s more.” She quickly went on to describe Ms. Siggenbottom and the corn dogs.
    The vampire’s eyebrows rose in excited alarm. “It’s about time our team had a real challenge!” His pale hand clenched into a fist as his blood-red eyes looked to the ceiling. “We will finally have a chance to test our true power! The Baron will triumph again!”
    â€œOoh, the big bad vampire!” Brittany cooed. “Why can’t we see more of that at home?”
    â€œHow long has it been since we’ve had any real excitement?” Taylor chimed in. “It’s just been one long, endless night!”
    â€œI should have listened to my mother!” Brittany agreed. “You know what she always said: Why should a vampire buy the cow when he can suck its blood for free?”
    The fourth coffin groaned and shifted against the wall, as if someone—or something—inside was looking for a way out. The Baron pointedly looked away from the still-closed box. He cleared his throat, shifting his cape awkwardly across his shoulders. “We should be going.”
    â€œYou’re going out in
that
cape?” Brittany called. “It looks like you’ve been sleeping in it!”
    â€œIf you’ll pardon me?” The vampire moved out of the room at amazing speed. Lenny quickly followed before the two other vampires could look his way. The Baron slammed the door as soon as Lenore and Karnowski had joined them in the hall.
    â€œDo you know how difficult it is to find an open dry cleaner’s in the middle of the night?” the vampire muttered. “Perhaps I should start meeting you upstairs.”
    Lenore studied the undead fellow. “You would actually get out of your coffin if I didn’t show up to knock?”
    The vampire shrugged his caped shoulders. “A fellow’s got to eat.”
    Lenore nodded. “But