The Andy Cohen Diaries by Andy Cohen Read Free Book Online Page A

this guy, so now I ignore him. But tonight he ignored me ! I got furious. I would rather be doing the ignoring.
    Connie Britton is everything you want her to be. Perfect. She was on the show with Zach Quinto. And I got to act out a scene from Friday Night Lights with her, which was amazing . I actually think I was pretty good as Coach Eric Taylor. I committed. She seemed impressed. Elisabeth Moss came with her and walked onto the show to give the gifts. She was our Vanna White. She is so sweet. And a Bravo fanatic. Zach wanted to go out, so we all went to Industry after. I had way too many Maker’s-and-gingers. On my way (stumbling?) out, some guy came up to me and wanted to give me his number but I was only half committed to taking it, so I flippantly said, “Just tell it to me and I’ll remember it.” And he goes, “Are you sure you’ll remember?” And I promised, “Yes. I’m really good at that. I will totally remember.” And now all I can remember is it was a 914 number. So that narrows it down.
    WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2013
    Will is so sick of me looking at my hair while he tries to train me. Liza and I have this thing where we feel like our hair always looks extra great on airplanes (because the air is so dry)—and now the same phenomenon keeps happening to me when I go to the gym. I keep looking at myself in the mirror and I can’t get over it, and I’m upset that I have to destroy the hair in the shower when I get home. Sometimes I think Will’s going to hit me.
    Went to JFK to get my Global Entry. The “security interview” was all of about two minutes and began with the most pressing threat to our nation’s safety: “Tell me about Teresa.” That’s a broad question. I told him I love her. The TSA guy told me what he felt I needed to know about Jersey Housewives and now I can go in the fast lane at security and customs worldwide. Unless this guy starts hating Teresa—then I bet he could go into my account and fuck with it.
    All day I was a kid before Christmas waiting for the playoff game to start, and of course I had a shoot before the show with the woman whose wedding I’m going to officiate tomorrow on Watch What Happens Live and it was me driving her around in this Fiat she will win as part of the wedding contest. It was two hours in a car with this girl I never met, with cars in front of me and beside me shooting us driving through the city, all while I’m losing my mind about not being able to see the game. She’s an aesthetician in Atlantic City and a huge Bravo fan. She kept asking, of all my WWHL guests, whom I hated. That’s all she cared about. I felt like nothing I was saying could satisfy her. I would say a name and she would say, “But who else do you hate?” And I was like, “Well, can I tell you who I like? Does it have to be all about who I hate?” People want to hear the nasty stuff; that includes me, so I don’t know why I’m even surprised. But I don’t actually hate too many people, which seemed to disappoint her. I said Jillian Michaels because she yelled at my staff, but the bride doesn’t watch Biggest Loser , so she didn’t really care about her. Then I said maybe Scott Baio, but he was before her time. I asked her, “Don’t you want to know anything about the Housewives? You love Bravo!” I just couldn’t impress her with any of my stories. This girl is supposed to be the biggest Bravo fan ever! People kept waving at us, because they put lights in the car so we were very noticeable. She thought everyone was waving at her because they know she’s getting married on the show. My brow was furrowed. Her fiancé is very sweet. I made him say his vows to me, and they were very flowery, and he was saying he will try not to cry, and I was like, “No. Try to cry.” The whole time I was driving and simultaneously trying to check my Twitter