The Andy Cohen Diaries by Andy Cohen Read Free Book Online Page B

for the game score, so hopefully you won’t see that danger on TV.
    I got to the show and had so much shit to do beforehand—voice-overs, rehearsals, taping birthday greetings to randoms—all while the game was going on. I was going mental. As detached as I felt about the show, Rachel Maddow and Michael Strahan were great. It was so fun having two professional talk-show hosts on, so easy. I really like her. And I really liked him. In fact I was very surprised how much I liked him. Eli was at the show, which always feels like a celebration these days since he was our original Bravo exec on WWHL and we’ve been through it together. To celebrate, he and I went out afterwards like old times to the Cubbyhole and then had a burger at Corner Bistro at 2 a.m. I swore I wasn’t going to eat the whole burger. I told myself I was just gonna have a piece. I ate the whole thing and was ready to order another one. I went home and watched Cardinals highlights (we won) and decided to go see the games in St. Louis this weekend. I didn’t go to bed until three-thirty.
    THURSDAY, OCTOBER 10, 2013
    Neicy was here yesterday. I forgot that I’d left the dead bug under my sink for the last four days but I checked and she removed it. Phew. What’s the etiquette around leaving insects for the housekeeper?
    I taped Bethenny and it was kind of surreal to be a guest on her big new talk show. She was asking me about my love life, which I’m more comfortable asking others about than revealing myself, and she asked me how many times I had been in love and I said two and a half. I said how many times do you think you fall in love in a life and she said, “Two and a half times.” Oh well, I guess my goose is cooked after my college love, John Hill, and the one-half time in 1999. Maybe I still have the 50 percent I didn’t use ahead of me. Please, Lord. Give me 50 percent of love.
    We married the couple in the Clubhouse tonight. They both had been so excited for so long that I think they somehow blew their wads before the actual show, so it didn’t have a ton of energy. It was Giggy’s second wedding in the Clubhouse. He was ring bearer. We all decided that the bride wanted a reality show out of it. There were tons of people there, which meant smiling and posing for numerous combinations of photos, so that was a lil irritating. It was also John Jude’s birthday, so afterwards I got Sonja Morgan to do an improvised burlesque number singing “Happy Birthday” like Marilyn Monroe a capella, in an insane performance with a cake with twenty candles on it, which made the entire night worth it, and then we partied in the Clubhouse until really late.
    FRIDAY, OCTOBER 11, 2013—NYC–ST. LOUIS
    â€œDelta shuttle. Miss Field?” This morning I woke up and got in the wrong car to go to the airport. I realized it’s a car for Sally Field, who is my neighbor, who I guess also had a noon flight but hers was the Delta shuttle. I was on American to St. Louis. The driver was not amused by my desire for him to deliver a simple “hello” message to Miss Sally Field, who I have never once seen in the building. I got in my real car with my driver, a non-English-speaking gentleman of the Asian persuasion. We immediately fell into that inevitable negotiation over which route to take to the airport. The guy said—in broken English—“Midtown Tunnel” and I got the sense he was going to cross at Thirty-fourth Street, which is not the route I prefer. So I said, “You’re going to cross downtown, right? Twenty-sixth or Twenty-second?” Frankly, my preference is to cross on Twelfth Street but he had already missed that. I could tell he was just yessing me, saying, “Traffic, traffic. Crossing Midtown.” We crossed at Thirty-sixth Street, so that didn’t work out for me. I did a lot of angry muttering under my breath and he did a lot of happily ignoring