The Arrangement 11 by H.M. Ward Read Free Book Online

things like that sometimes, but not now.
    After dinner, I’m leaning pretty far to my right, with my elbow on the table and my hand holding up my head. Think surly teenager. It’s not pretty but after this morning, I expected more from him. Sean has issues. Every time I feel like we’re on the same page, he does something like this. I’d cry if I weren’t so pissed off.
    The waiter brings out our desserts and refills my champagne glass. For a moment, I wonder if he’s going to propose during dessert like a normal guy, but Sean would never hide the ring in something. He’s too straightforward for that. Since there’s no jewelry in sight, I’m doubting that there’s going to be a proposal tonight.
    I poke at my dessert, but don’t really eat it. Sean notices. “Are you finished?” He’s been watching me from the other side of the table, quieter than usual. Or maybe I’m just steaming too much to be a good date.
    “Yes ,” I say, pushing away the plate. The truth is I’m a little crushed and feeling the post-Christmas crash, but I didn’t get any presents. It sucks monkeys. I can’t even pretend anymore. I glance around the room and wonder if anyone else is having a crappy night. The other couples look happy, like they’re celebrating something special. This place cost a small fortune, so it’s a treat to eat here. A bunch of the patrons probably blew a week’s pay on this dinner. Except for my man, Sean. He’s got lots of money and even more emotional PMS. God, he’s worse than I am. Maybe.
    “Good, because I have a question for you.” I straighten in my seat a little bit and try not to let my balloon of hope inflate again. Seriously, that thing has been bent every which way and resembles a deflated knot right about now. Sean puts his fork down and folds his hands together. “Are you attending your graduation ceremony?”
    My face scrunches up. “What?” Weird question.
    “They asked me to give a lecture to the graduating class—to be the guest speaker—and I told them that I’d have to ask you.”
    I lean on my elbow again and pick at the table cloth. “I wasn’t planning on it.”
    “Why not?”
    “There’s no one to hood me. You know, before you walk across the stage, someone puts the sashie thing over your head and rests it on your shoulders. My mom would have done it. Since she’s not here, I figured…” I look up into his face and see the fragility. Looking back down at the table, I say, “I don’t understand. Why do you want to hood me? You know you don’t actually get to tie me up, right?”
    He nods, but doesn’t smile. Actually, it looks like I kicked him. “I know.”
    “Then why?” I watch Sean as he taps his finger on the table and avoids my gaze.
    “ Because you sacrificed everything for that moment. If this isn’t fleeting, if I matter to you—”
    Straightening in my seat, I finally say what I’m thinking. “Sean, why won’t you ask me?” He looks away and doesn’t answer. This isn’t a game anymore. I think he had every intention of asking me when we were upstairs, but something changed. There’s no pressing need to ask me anything. Sean’s sitting there like he always does. I try to stay calm and ask the question even though I already know the answer. “Did you change your mind?”
    His blue gaze flicks up and meets mine. “No.”
    Liar. “Just tell me the truth. Don’t hide behind that placid expression and let yourself feel for a second.”
    “Let myself feel? Do you seriously think that’s the problem?”
    “Not in its entirety, but I think a general lack of empathy is part of the problem.” That was a cheap shot, but it infuriates me when he acts so stoic. He can act that way with everyone else, but not with me.
    Sean mashes his mouth shut and looks back and forth before leaning forward and blasting me. “Do you know what they’re going to say about you if you become Mrs. Sean Ferro? Do you seriously think that I haven’t thought about