The Bear: A Novel by Claire Cameron Read Free Book Online

isn’t in the water now so maybe Daddy can fix the bag before we put it around the water. I stick my fingers in the hole and find a Band-Aid.
    I’m going to take the Band-Aid for Momma for her blood. She can’t get mad because that is a nice thing. I take two because there is a lot of cuts. I step over the mess and get to Momma’s foot again. She is still lying down like she’s on her bed but it’s the plants.
    “I have you a Band-Aid.”
    Momma doesn’t answer. Her eyes are still closed and she is sleeping. I bend down and push my cheek on hers again because it is her best thing. I keep my cheek there and I don’t talk and after a minute I see her eyes open. I know because I have my eye right in hers and her eyelashes give me a poke in the eyeball.
    “Ow.” I sit away.
    “Oh, Anna,” she says in a very whisper. “Be a good girl.”
    “I have you a Band-Aid.”
    She doesn’t look happy or like she means thank you. I hold the two Band-Aids up to her eye so she looks at them and I start to rip the paper on one of them. It is hard to get the Band-Aid out of the paper but Momma doesn’t take it from me like she does to help so I rip myself. The first rip means I can pull it and I feel happy about that.
    “The canoe, Anna.” She takes a really tired breath. “Please; be a good girl.”
    Momma closes her eyes and I put my finger on her cheek but she doesn’t open up. She looks very tired and maybe like when she is sick and I am supposed to take Stick and not wake her up. We are allowed to turn on the TV even if it isn’t Saturday or TV time. We can play dress-up in the closet and put on Momma’s high heels. I make Stick wear the black ones because the red are the best and shiny. I think of Stick in my daddy’s tie and my momma’s black high heels with his dingle sticking out because he was naked but I also think of the black dog too and my tummy feels shaky.
    “Momma. Mom?”
    She looks mad.
    There is a bad sniff in the air and I don’t like it. It makes my tummy feel more shaky and I think the bacon ball from Stick’s mouth again and I’d like to sniff Gwen. She isn’t in my hand. I look over and see Stick is sitting in the door of the tent. He is holding Gwen and I don’t like it too.
    “Sticky!” I stomp so that he knows I am mad and I grab Gwen from him. It is easy because his arms are fat and not muscle and I get Gwen and sniff to make sure she is still right. Stick tries to grab her back, but I stand up and hold her over my head so he can’t reach. I want Momma to come and get him away because Gwen is mine. I look over and see her foot standing in the plants and she wants me to get Stick in the canoe. If I can do that I am her strong girl and Daddy will come back to be in the family even though it’s not my fault and I can make it better if I am a super good girl and I am.
    “Come on, Sticky,” I say still holding Gwen away.
    “No.”
    I take a few steps toward the canoe. “Come on.”
    “Gimme.” He points to Gwen.
    I will never but I look over and Momma is there. I hold Gwen because I am trying to do what Momma says.
    “You want Gwen? Come to the canoe.”
    Stick’s eyes open up and he thinks he is really lucky. And then his eyes go more shut because he knows I never ever give him Gwen and maybe he will come and get her and get a punch instead. I would like to punch him because I am mad at Momma for making me take him for a canoe. Stick makes a lot of trouble for me and I get in trouble instead of him. I feel mad and I’m not going to give him Gwen. No way. I pull her back and sniff and Stick sits back down in the door of the tent because he knows he won’t get his fat hands on Gwen. He can’t even say her name right. When I tell him to say her name he says “Glen” and I tell him wrong and he forgot the word “w.” He says “Wind” and that is wrong too.
    Stick’s bum is back on Momma’s sleeping bag and I won’t get it off even though Momma said. I kick at the floor