The Book of You: A Novel by Claire Kendal Read Free Book Online Page B

track. You’ve always encouraged me to be creative, and Rafe’s got me started on writing about my childhood. I thought you’d be pleased. I told him the things we used to get up to when we were teenagers. I’ve been writing about when that girl beat you up on the seafront. Remember how horrible that policewoman was to you afterward?”
    There’s a hot radiator on the wall behind me, but I’m shivering in my wool dress. Goose bumps are springing up on my arms. The person I least want to be exposed to now knows every detail of the story I least want to tell. I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.
    Rowena’s too excited to notice. “It’s all in the explicitness—that’s what Rafe’s getting out of me. Remember how I got you home and cleaned you up?”
    “I do,” I say quietly. “Nobody could have helped me like you did.”
    “It’s a great story. Clarissa will be proud of you when she reads it.”
    I’d kick you under the table, but I don’t want to touch you even with my boot and I’m not about to let you prove to Rowena that I’m unbalanced. To my amazement, you stand up. For a second of reckless hope I actually think you’re going to leave. But of course you’re not. You’re just going to the bar.
    I’m on my feet, ready to walk out, but almost immediately I sit down again. I couldn’t abandon my worst enemy to you, let alone my oldest friend, though right now Rowena is acting more like the first than the second. Whatever Rowena may be, I am my parents’ daughter; they taught me too well the importance of loyalty to friends and family, even when—especially when—that loyalty is tested. The Rowena I loved must still be in there, though right now she’s buried so deep I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to find her again, or if I even want to try.
    It’s as if she gave you a tour of my underwear drawer. But I know I need to sound calm if I’m to have any chance of getting through to her. “I don’t want you talking about me to him. Please don’t.”
    “It’s my story. You just happen to be in it. You have no right to dictate to me.”
    “You may want him here, but I don’t. I’ve made that clear. Any normal man would respect my wishes. Don’t you see that?”
    She doesn’t answer. For an instant I think she does see it. Rowena’s ears always redden when she’s upset, and that’s what they’re doing now. Their heightened color makes me notice the scars just in front of them, and I look away so she doesn’t see me seeing.
    “He tricked me into coming here. He knew I never would if you told me he was joining us. Don’t you think it’s odd that he asked you to keep it a secret?”
    She hesitates, considering, but she wrestles with whatever doubts she may be starting to have about you and spits out the word “No.”
    I don’t want to say what comes out of my mouth next, but I know I must. “He’s not interested in you at all.”
    Rowena’s lips curl into disbelieving rage. “Not every man on the planet’s in love with you. You can’t take them all.” Perhaps she has guessed the truth about Henry. Maybe you actually told her. You probably just let it slip out casually while talking about something else. That’s exactly the sort of thing you’d do.
    “What he does isn’t love. It’s the opposite of love.” I’m speaking gently, softly, as tenderly as I can. “It’s as if he’s trying to steal me. And now he’s stealing you from me.”
    “I’m not yours to steal. You haven’t been real with me in years. You’re so full of secrets, I hardly know you anymore. Don’t you realize how much that hurt me?” Her voice cracks at the last sentence.
    I put my hand over hers, moved by this glimpse of the old Rowena’s need for me. “I know. And I regret that. But right now I’m trying to stop you getting hurt. That’s the only reason I’m sitting here when all I want is to run out that door. He knows that. That’s why he set this up.”
    She rips her hand