The Boss by Abigail Barnette Read Free Book Online

done lots of stupid things I’d
had no business doing. Six years from now, I'd probably be saying
the exact same thing. Clearly, Neil thought of taking my plane
ticket as one of those stupid things he’d had no business doing. I
could afford to be a little more forgiving.
    "You know, we didn't really know each other
before," I began, not unkindly. It was just a fact we couldn't
ignore and still work together. "There's no reason we should feel
weird about this."
    "I believe that's unavoidable." He laughed,
and the bubble of tension between us burst. I'd forgotten that; he
spoke so carefully and always seemed to know exactly what to say,
but laughed without a hint of reservation. The creases at the
corners of his eyes deepened, and his wide smile showed his
straight, white teeth.
    The relief of the moment overwhelmed me, and
I laughed, too. And once I started, I couldn't stop. It felt good
to let down the walls I'd built up in the face of all my fears. I
had anticipated getting fired, and that wasn't going to happen, at
least not today. I'd thought that things between Neil and I would
be weird, and they were. But it wasn't the end of the world, and I
wasn't the only one suffering. That did a lot to ease my mind.
    "Oh, Sophie." He shook his head, his smile
dimming just a little. "I've thought about you so much. I was such
a deplorable ass."
    "Or Leif was a deplorable ass," I scolded,
and found myself somewhat shocked to be playfully teasing, rather
than truly angry.
    "In my defense, Leif is my middle
name. I didn't pull it out of the air." His green eyes met mine,
and I didn't feel the uncomfortable urge to look away this time. He
lowered his voice. "Did I ruin your life? Taking those
tickets?"
    No, he hadn't. He'd saved it, but I couldn't
tell him that. It would be too much like excusing him. "I had a
choice. You left me plenty of money. I could have waited for
another flight, and I didn't. I bought the ticket to New York. I
made my choice."
    "And you don't regret it?" he asked
cautiously.
    I shrugged. "I do wonder what might have
happened differently in my life, but I'm happy where I am."
    "Good." He paused. “I've thought about how
things could have been different, as well."
    My throat almost closed off with the anxiety
those words inspired in me. Did he mean between us? Or the way we
parted? Or just that yesterday would have been so much easier for
him if I'd spent it in Japan?
    "I have to be honest."
    I absolutely hated when other people used
that phrase, and Neil was no exception. Those words made me
simultaneously denounce everything a person said so far as a lie,
and suspect everything that came after. And that was a shame,
because I really, really wanted to believe what he said next.
    "I've often regretted the way we left things.
And I’ve wondered how it might have been different, if we’d stayed
in contact.” His mouth quirked, and melancholy lines deepened on
his forehead. “I almost had the driver turn around and come back
for you on my way to the airport. And then at the gate, I kept
hoping that you’d... I don’t know, somehow show up. Or the flight
would be delayed again. I almost didn’t get on the plane. But at
that point I knew it was too late. I’d fucked it all up the moment
I’d left that hotel room. If I could do things over, I promise, I
would do them differently."
    It's utterly bizarre how a kind sentiment can
hurt you as much as a cruel one. My heart shattered in my chest.
Yeah, I'd thought of what my life would have been like if we'd
gotten on that plane together. Maybe we would have met up again in
Tokyo. It could have been a Lost in Translation kind of
thing, and we could have lived happily ever after. The fact that
he'd been considering such an outcome as well wounded me
deeply.
    Which was absurd, I reminded myself. You
knew him for less than twenty- four hours. Love at first sight
doesn't exist. Though I knew deep down that I was mourning the
idea of him and not any great love, it still