right, Nicole, who at the time was probably twenty-two or twenty-three, and was me and Chrisâs first fake wife. But those are the only people he really knew, for the most part, in the whole building.
The shouting went on, and I couldnât stop myself. I sat up.
âWhat you doinâ?â Chris whispered.
âGoinâ to see whatâs happening.â
Chrisâs eyes went wide. âAre you crazy? My mother will kill us. You know her rules.â
I did know the rules. Ms. Hayes ran them down to me every time I came over.
Rule 1 : All empty food containers, like Chinese food, or even empty McDonaldâs bags, have to be put either in the microwave or in the refrigerator until we take the trash out in the morning. Do NOT put it in the trash, because even if itâs just crumbs left, mice will get in there.
Rule 2 : We canât both wash up at night. One of us has to wash up at night, and one of us has to wash up in the morning, to make sure she gets to have some hot water too. I didnât really understand this one, but I guess there was only enough hot water for two people in the apartment, not three. Chris and I would do rock-paper-scissors to see who got to wash up at night. He was easy to beat because he was one of those people who always picked rock. But I shouldâve let him win that night, so his feet wouldnât have smelled so bad.
And Rule 3 : If you hear any noises outside of the apartment, whether in the hallway or on the street, do NOT try to see what it is. Just pretend like you donât hear anything.
âCome on, man. She âsleep,â I now said. âWeâll just take a peek and then weâll come right back in here. Weâll just crack the door.â
Chris took a deep breath. I could tell he was mad about me even trying to get him to break his momâs rules, but I really wanted to see what the fuss was about.
Finally, he huffed, âMan, you gonna get us in so much trouble.â And he was right. If we got in trouble, we were definitely going to be punished for it. My mother gave Ms. Hayes the green light to pop me if she needed to, and Ms. Hayes was the kind of woman who would do it. âLetâs just make it quick,â he said, sliding out of bed.
We tiptoed out into the hallway. Chris put his ear to his motherâs door. Snoring. I knew she was âsleep. We crept into the living room trying our best to avoid every creak in the floor. Ms. Hayes kept their house super clean, so we didnât have to worry about tripping over nothing. We could hear the voices much clearer in the living room. The man was saying something about how he loved her and how could she have done this to him. All of his words were long, like he was halfway singing, so we knew he was drunk. And the lady was pretty much screaming, âItâs over! Itâs over!â and kept telling him to go home. I couldnât really tell, but it seemed like maybe the man came to wish her Happy ValentineâsDay, but they were already broken up and she had a date with someone else. That was the scenario I made up in my head, at least.
Chris turned the bolt lock slowly, making sure it didnât click loud. Then, he turned the knob. My heart started pounding, mainly because I didnât want us to open the door and have his mom wake up from all the hollering.
But it was too late. Chris was opening the door, and as soon as a thin strip of light from the hall came shining through the opening, the loudest sound I had ever heard in my entire life came rushing toward us, making both of us shout out and slam the door. Then came the screams of the woman, and the drunk man in the hallway now mumbling something about him being sorry and that he didnât mean it. Chrisâs face seemed like it had turned blue. Mine felt like it looked the same way.
âWhat the hell?â Ms. Hayes came rushing from her bedroom, her hair pinned and wrapped in a blue scarf