The Deeds of the Disturber by Elizabeth Peters Read Free Book Online

umbrella, he began, "Sure and you brighten the gloomy day, Mrs. Emerson. Indeed and the Fountain of Youth must be in Egypt, for you gain in youth and beauty each time—"
    I shook the umbrella at him. "Spare me the brogue and the empty compliments, Mr. O'Connell. I am seriously annoyed with you."
    "Empty, is it? Sure an' I spoke from the deepest depths . . . Please, ma'am, won't you open that infernal parasol and accompany me to a place where we can talk?"
    "This will do nicely," I said, indicating the door.
    O'Connell's eyes popped. "My dear Mrs. Emerson, this is hardly—"
    "It is a public house, is it not? Very interesting. I have never patronized such an establishment. Emerson, though in general the most obliging of men, has always refused to visit one with me. Come, Mr. O'Connell; I am exceedingly short of time and I have a great deal to say to you."
    "Sure an' I'll wager that's the truth," muttered O'Connell. With a shrug he followed me inside.
    Our entrance caused something of a stir, though I cannot imagine why; I was certainly not the only woman present. In fact, there was a female behind the bar—a fleshy young person who would have been rather pretty if she had not painted her cheeks such a garish pink.
    I led the way to a table, Mr. O'Connell trailing after me, and summoned the barmaid with a flourish of my parasol. Poor thing, she seemed to be a trifle lacking. When I ordered a pot of tea, her jaw dropped and she stared blankly at me.
    "I'm afraid ..." O'Connell began.
    "Oh, I see. This is an establishment in which only alcoholic beverages are served? In that case, I will just have a whiskey and soda."
    O'Connell ordered, and I added in a kindly voice, "The table appears to be rather sticky, young woman. Please wipe it off." She continued to gape. Nudging her gently with my parasol I said, "Run along, run along. Time is of the essence."
    Mr. O'Connell did not relax until I had stowed the parasol under my chair. Planting his elbows on the table, he leaned toward me.
    "You are late, Mrs. E. Did you have trouble following my instructions?"
    "Not at all, though they certainly might have been more explicit. However, I would not have troubled myself to follow them had I not been seriously annoyed with you. My only reason for being here is to demand an apology and a retraction for the things you have been saying about us in your wretched newspaper."
    "But I said only the most complimentary things about you and Mr. Emerson," O'Connell protested.
    "You implied I was an unfit mother."
    '' Twas no such thing! My exact words were, 'She is the most affectionate of parents—' "
    ' 'Which makes her inability to prevent the lad from engaging in hair-raising adventures all the more astonishing.' " O'Connell met my stern gaze with eyes as blue, as limpid, and as serene as the lakes of Eire. "Well," I said after a moment, "perhaps, after all, the statement is not entirely inaccurate. But what on earth was in your reputed brain, Kevin, to say Professor Emerson and I had consented to solve the mystery of the malignant mummy? That is a flat-out fabrication."
    "I said no such thing. I said—"
    "I have not the time to exchange quibbles with you," I said sternly. "I slipped out of the house without Emerson's knowledge; if he misses me he will raise a hullaballoo."
    A shudder ran through Kevin's wiry frame. "A very descriptive word, Mrs. E."
    The young person shuffled up, carrying a tray and a damp cloth. The cloth was not very clean, but the energy with which she swabbed the table indicated a willingness to please, and so I forbore to comment, only pointing out a few spots she had missed. Kevin had already seized his glass and consumed a considerable amount of the contents. He ordered another of the same, and I remarked in the kindliest possible fashion, "Young woman, that is a very nice frock, but with so much of your chest exposed, you run the risk of catching a severe cold. Have you no scarf or shawl?"
    The girl shook her head