The Deep by Jen Minkman Read Free Book Online

me.
I’m a jackass and a murderer.”
    I stare at him expectantly. “I want to hear
your side of the story.”
    Ben stares back, his face tight when I take
his hand in mine and squeeze it comfortingly. Suddenly, tears are
rolling down his cheeks. With a strangled cry, he pulls his hand
free and hides his face in his hands, crying soundlessly. His
shoulders shake with sobs and his entire body seems to collapse in
on itself. It’s as if he explodes into a thousand sad little
pieces. I have never seen such sadness. I’ve only felt it myself,
after Yorrick died.
    “I’m Saul’s brother,” he finally whispers.
“The leader of the manor house.”
    I inhale sharply. “Oh.”
    “Yeah.” He barks out a bitter laugh.
“Oh.”
    Again, silence pervades the room. It hangs
thickly in the air while I stare at him, lost for words. Quite
frankly, this shouldn’t be such a shocker. I already knew Ben had
done terrible things – terrible enough to make him an outcast
criminal in his own village, swapped out for Bram and Finn who went
to live in Newexter. But I relegated that knowledge to the deep
recesses of my mind because I’d wanted to give him a chance to
start all over. The villagers from the east haven’t forgotten who
Ben once was, though.
    “What did your life there look like?” I
inquire at last.
    Ben closes his eyes and starts talking in a
soft voice. “Saul had absolute power, and it made me feel safe.
Nobody could touch me as long as he was there. And I had strong
friends, all of them older than me.” He clenches his fists. “I
looked up to my brother. I didn’t dare question his decision when
he said Henry should die. And when Saul’s friends stabbed him, I
forced myself not to look away, even though I wanted to. I should
have said something – I knew everything was about to blow up in our
faces. But the only one who spoke out was Leia.”
    “Couldn’t you have backed her up?”
    Ben laughs derisively. “Leia hated my guts.
And rightly so – I’d convinced Saul that Mara, her best friend,
should be married off to me. That night, after the execution, I
would have dragged Mara to my bedroom. I’m a coward, a rapist and a
murderer. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
    I nod gingerly. “I wanted the truth,” I
whisper.
    “Well, now that you know the truth, I think
you’d better leave.”
    I rub my face tiredly. “Ben. You wanted to
start anew, didn’t you?”
    He looks away. “I can’t do it. Not yet. Maybe
never.”
    “But you’re here,” I argue. “You could have
stayed behind, just like Saul.”
    “No,” Ben mutters despondently. “I want to
know who I am myself. Without him, and without that false sense of
security. Without all those people who despise me.”
    “Then stop despising yourself,” I say calmly.
“Once you’re done doing that, you know where to find me.”
    “You mean you still want to see me?” he asks
in a soft, incredulous voice.
    I bite my lip. “I need some time too, I
guess.”
    “Yes.” Ben slowly nods. “Yeah, I get
that.”
    “Good.” I get up abruptly. “I should be going
back to the feast.”
    I’ve already crossed the threshold when Ben
calls after me: “Alisa?”
    “Yes?” I turn around.
    “Thanks. For everything.”

7 – Alisa

    In the middle of the night,
I am roused from sleep by agitated voices in the street, combined
with the asphyxiating smell of fire drifting in through my bedroom
window. I sit up with a start. Is our house burning?
    “Lisa, wake up,” my
father’s voice booms through the door. He’s banging his fist on the
wood to stir me from sleep. “There’s a fire down at the harbor.
Daryl needs you.”
    Oh, no. “I’m coming,” I
call back, quickly throwing on some clothes.
    Within a few minutes I’m
down at the harbor, standing on the main quay where a large crowd
of people has gathered. My mouth falls open in horror when I see
what they have come to gawk at. The ship that the builders have
worked so hard on – that