The Dutiful Wife by Penny Jordan Read Free Book Online Page B

or think like this in the past, and that it has taken Aldo’s death to make me aware of my duty, but now that I am aware of it I cannot walk away from that duty—’ He broke off and shook his head.
    ‘I have to go. I’ve got an appointment with the senior members of Aldo’s government in ten minutes. We’llhave to finish talking about this later, but whilst I am gone please try to think positively about the future. You mean everything to me, Giselle. Without you I have and am nothing. Your love sustains me and supports me. You are my life.’
    He was gone before she could say anything.
    After Saul had gone Giselle paced the courtyard, her heart pounding, her thoughts in chaotic panic. She was oblivious to the sunshine and the tranquil symmetry of the elegantly designed outside living space that had so pleased her less than an hour earlier.
    Saul had been at pains to reassure her over and over again that the fact that he was stepping into Aldo’s shoes did not and could not in any way alter their relationship, but he was wrong. Very wrong. Because what he had done would destroy it.
    What Saul had done? Giselle’s body shook with the force of her emotions. This was her punishment for deceiving him—for not telling him the full truth about her past and the dark and dangerous secret that lay there. She had gambled with fate and she had lost. Just as she would now lose Saul.
    Grief and despair filled her, seizing her body and her mind. Was it selfish of her to wish that Aldo had not died? To wish that she could turn back the clock—to where? To the day of their marriage, when her great-aunt had asked her if she had told Saul everything and she had replied yes? To before then? To her own childhood? Before that? Did she wish that she herself had never been given life?
    Yes, when the price of that life was the burden she was forced to bear—the knowledge of the horror of which she herself might be capable and the fear of passing that horror to her own child, which had made her vow that she must never have a child.
    Saul’s insistence that he himself did not want children was because he did not want to inflict on them the childhood he had had, with his parents always absent. He knew how much the cut and thrust of a high-powered business life meant to him, and that it would of necessity take him away from his own children. It had given her the confidence to marry him. Saul had been totally against them having children—then. Now, though, with Saul stepping into Aldo’s shoes, that would have to change. He was going to want an heir—a child that she could not give him. She had no proof of that, she knew, but she couldn’t help fearing that she was right. He had already proved, although he would deny it, that taking up his role as Aldo’s heir meant more to him than she did. So would having an heir.
    Their marriage was doomed, and ultimately it would have to end. Ultimately Saul would cast her aside to marry someone else—a woman who could and would provide him with an heir. A woman who could and would give him what she could not.
    Ultimately. And ultimately would she be able to stop loving him? Never! Her whole body shook. She loved him so much that she could not envisage stopping loving him—ever. Another intolerable burden for her to have to carry. What was life if all it held was pain and loss? Better not to live at all.
    Giselle shivered. Was this how her own mother had felt? Fresh panic swamped her. There was no one she could turn to, no one who could help her. Why had this had to happen? The courtyard and the palace itself now felt like an alien unwelcoming environment—a place where she did not want to be because she could never provide what it represented: continuity, a title, a place in life and a duty to be handed down from generation to generation, father to child, be that child a son or a daughter. History was rich with women who had proved to be strong rulers. A daughter! Another sick shudder savaged