the spontaneous and easy manner of some boys, like the ones who participated in college societies, debates and the Student Federation; like Asad bhai saheb, the MA student at the Christian College—direct, spontaneous, friendly and respectful.
Though Tara had said several times at home, in front of her mother, ‘I won’t get married. I’m going to keep on studying up to MA level,’ nobody paid her any attention. Nobody even asked her about it. One day she heard that her mother had gone to the Banni Hata mohalla and had given eleven rupees to a family as a goodwill token for her daughter’s engagement with some boy. That day Tara had wept all day, especially when no one was around. She thought, it couldn’t have happened if my brother was here. She would have been able to explain to him somehow; her brother could not agree to an engagement that was against her wishes.
When Tara had been admitted to Dayal Singh College she thought she would only make friends with girls, but at the beginning of her second year, her opinion and behaviour changed. She enjoyed the company of Surendra, Zubeida, Sneha, Gurtu and other girls in the college who took part in political meetings and the Student Federation. These girls would neither shy away from boys nor avoid them.
Surendra Kaur had become Tara’s closest friend. Surendra’s brother Narendra Singh had been Jaidev’s classmate. He had passed his MA and was studying in the Law College. Narendra Singh was one of the leaders of the Student Federation. Surendra took a very active role in the Federation’s work. Tara also began to attend those meetings in the company of Surendra. In the meetings they discussed the international implications of the Second World War. The invasions by Germany and Japan were described as Fascist invasions. India’s interest, it was explained, lay in the victory of America and Britain and the defeat of Fascism, of Germany and Japan, under Russia’s leadership. They discussed ways to fight the invasion of India by Japan so that the leaders of the Indian nationalist movement could lead the war against Fascism. Whether or not Tara understood anything, she liked their company.
Dayal Singh College subscribed to the Brahmo Samaj ideology. The college professors did not favour sectarian ideas, social conservatism or fanaticism. They advocated tolerance and acceptance of all human beings, and held that God was one and the same in all different religions. The last day of the term in the first year, before the summer vacation began, had left an indelible impression on Tara’s mind. The college had organized a picnic at the Tomb of Jehangir, where Hindu, Muslim and Sikh students sat together taking food from each other’s hands, and some had even eaten from the same leaf plates. Tara felt a thrill of pleasure in these efforts that pushed differences aside and created a sense of unity.
Tara was attracted to members of the Federation, and to those who were called Communists, for the very reasons they were criticized by society. These people were notorious for ignoring religious differences and social conservatism. In their debates they were always in favour of equality of rights between men and women, and for self-determination inside the bonds of marriage. In their company, Tara, like her brother, also began to argue against outdated conventions. She felt encouraged when her arguments and her quickness of mind were appreciated.
Tara had tolerated Masterji’s discipline and religious beliefs since childhood. Masterji forced her and her elder brother Jaidev to get up every morning at the crack of dawn and bathe. He would have them come and sit near him and sing morning and evening bhajans. He had the same kind of rules concerning dressing and other forms of conduct. Jaidev had to have the hair on his head cut short with clippers, and to wear a coat that buttoned up to the neck. After he’d gone to college, Jaidev broke free of these rules. Tara had been
Learning to Kill: Stories