The Field by John B. Keane Read Free Book Online

McCabe] Will you have one?
    Mrs McCabe: Not for me.
    Dandy: I’ll have the same again, Leamy. [Lifts hammer] There’s a hammer that never drove a nail. Ladies and gentlemen. I have here for sale, one prime farmer’s wife, fifteen hands high, sound in wind and limb and steady as a butcher’s table. Do I hear a bid … Do I hear a bid for this prime specimen of womanhood … [To Leamy] You, sir! You look a decent sort of a man. Do I hear a bid …? She has two medals for making toast and four for making pancakes. She has a gold cup for drinking sour milk and a certificate for snoring.
    [Suddenly Dandy stops dead and looks towards the doorway. Enter the Bull McCabe, followed by Tadhg, followed by the Bird O’Donnell. Dandy’s Wife gets up immediately and stands near her husband]
    Bull: You came, Dandy. Blood is thicker than water.
    Dandy: [Subdued, cautious] How’s the Bull? How are you, Tadhg … Bird?
    [Leamy quietly withdraws a little behind grocery counter. Maimie comes from behind counter]
    Maimie: Your receipt, Dandy.
    Dandy: Thanks, Maimie.
    Bull: You got the word?
    Dandy: Yes, Bull.
    Bull: You know there’s a man in the village who’s here to wrong me?
    Dandy: Yes, Bull! Yes!
    Bull: Sit down! … All of you, sit down! Where’s himself, Maimie?
    [Enter Mick Flanagan]
    Mick: Right behind you, Bull. Sorry I’m late.
    Bull: [Generously] A good man is never late, Mick.
    [All sit … Mick, the Bird, Tadhg, Dandy and his Wife. Maimie goes forward and sits a little apart independently. Bull sees Leamy behind the counter]
    Bull: What’s he doin’ up? Shouldn’t he be in bed?
    Maimie: He’s just going.
    Bull: No … No … Let him up. He’s no fool. He knows enough. Sit down, boy … out here, boy.
    [Leamy takes a seat near his mother]
    Bull: I’m a fair man and I want nothing but what’s mine! I won’t be wronged in my own village, in my own country by an imported landgrabber. The sweat I’ve lost won’t be given for nothing. A total stranger has come and he wants to bury my sweat and blood in concrete. It’s ag’in’ God an’ man an’ I was never the person to bow the head when trouble came and no man is goin’ to do me out of my natural-born rights. Now this robber comes from nowhere and he’s nothing less than a robber … And you all know the cure for a robber … he must be given a fright and a fright he’s goin’ to get. But people forgets old friends when there’s danger and if this man gets a fright and a bit of a beatin’, we’ll have the civic guards goin’ around askin’ questions. Now, you know the kind civic guards is … What is friends for, I ask, unless ’tis to pull one another out of hoults. What is neighbours and relations for unless ’tis to ‘love ye one another’ says the Gospel. So, when the civic guards come with their long noses, all of you will remember that Tadhg and myself were in this pub at the time that robbin’ gazebo got his dues … We’ll give him just enough to teach him a lesson. Now, I’ll want a promise, won’t I, to show we can trust one another. Dandy, you’ll take an oath on the Holy Ghost.
    Dandy: Sure, Bull. Sure. And don’t worry about the Missus.
    Bull: Sound man, Dandy. I knew I could trust you. What about you, Bird?
    Bird: OK, but I’m not swearing by the Holy Ghost.
    Bull: And what have you got against the Holy Ghost, you little caffler, you?
    Bird: ’Tis wrong! ’Tis wrong!
    Bull: Did he ever give you a fright?
    Bird: A fright?
    Bull: Yes, a fright. Any other ghost you’ll meet will frighten the life outa you. But the Holy Ghost never gave anyone a fright. Come on, swear!
    Bird: Sure, Bull. Sure.
    Bull: Mick?
    Mick: OK, Bull, but don’t overdo it.
    Bull: A good fright and no more. Put up a bottle of whiskey for my friends. Maimie … Maimie!