The Girl With No Past by Kathryn Croft Read Free Book Online Page A

school matters. Maybe other people have tons of friends and flaunt their popularity as if their lives depend on it, but we don’t need anyone else because three is better than two, better than one. ‘I won’t say anything. But you should think about it because what have you got to lose?’
    Imogen laughs again. ‘Um, only my dignity and my friend. No biggie.’ This is what I love about her; she knows how to laugh at herself. ‘Anyway, it’s easy for you to say, you’re gorgeous!’
    Now it is my turn to chuckle. ‘Hardly. Look how flat my hair is. And it’s greasy and hangs like a curtain.’
    She scrunches her face again. ‘Yeah, okay. Anyway, don’t you like anyone? What about Tommy?’
    ‘Hutchinson? No way! He’s disgusting.’
    Imogen reels off a list of all the eligible boys we know but none of them garner anything like a positive response from me. ‘I give up!’ she says eventually. ‘You must be a lezzie.’
    And with that, we both burst into uncontrollable giggles until Mrs Bannerman bangs on the wall and urges us to keep the noise down.
    ‘I forgot your parents’ bedroom is right next door,’ I say. ‘Do you ever hear them doing it?’
    ‘Uggghhh! No way! That’s sick.’ Imogen smiles as she says this. ‘Anyway, there’s no way they do it any more. My mum’s nearly forty!’
    Rolling onto my stomach, I turn my head so I am facing Imogen. There are so many things I want to talk to her about, but even though we are close, I find it difficult to get the words out. There are thoughts and worries floating around my head all the time that I hardly dare think about, so to bring them up in conversation seems an impossible task. Instead, I guide the conversation back to Imogen. ‘Do you want to? With Corey I mean? Do you ever think about it?’
    She giggles but then appears to register that I’m being serious. ‘I don’t know. I suppose. I do dream about him sometimes. That we’re doing it. And then when I wake up it feels like we really have done it and I swear I actually blush—’
    ‘There’s something wrong with me!’ I am so desperate to get the words out, I forget to whisper.
    The smile drops from Imogen’s face as she tries to make sense of my abrupt interjection. ‘What? Are you ill or something? What is it?’
    ‘No…not…I didn’t mean like that. It’s just that everyone in school is always talking about sex or thinking about it or whatever but…’ I trail off, unsure how to put my thoughts into words that Imogen might understand. ‘Well, I never do. Never.’ I look up at my friend, who is now peering over the side of the bed, chewing another sweet.
    ‘Oh. Well, that doesn’t mean anything, does it? I’m older than you, remember, so maybe those feelings will come later? You’re not fifteen for ages.’
    I have thought about this but it is of little comfort to me. I just want to feel normal. To feel something. Anything.
    ‘And most of the boys in our school are crap, aren’t they? Except Corey, of course. And Jason isn’t bad. Or that Dwayne.’
    None of this is helping. In fact, it is making me feel even more of a freak. I should at least be able to find one boy attractive if Imogen can like three. Probably more than three.
    She stops chewing. ‘I know we were joking about it earlier but are you sure you’re not, you know, into girls ? It wouldn’t matter, I wouldn’t care…’
    I shake my head. ‘No. I’m not. I’m just not into anyone.’
    ‘Give it time, Leah,’ Imogen says, resuming her chewing.
    ‘You’re right, it’s probably just that there’s nobody I like at school.’ I don’t add that I’m not particularly interested in any singers or actors on TV either.
    But for the next hour, at least, I am distracted from worrying when Imogen suggests we listen to music on her headphones. We select ‘I Believe I Can Fly’ and put it on repeat while Imogen mimes the words, standing on her bed and using her pencil case as a microphone. I wish we